Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

1
This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
(Anyone who witnesses you activate this Effect or for its duration is very likely to be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom. You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits. That's where Schrodinger comes in.

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Must roll Self-Control if you see any reference to food besides what you create. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on adjusting power: Schrodinger's Chef
Revision purchased with:
Gift from playing in Crois deora spent on new power: Schrodinger's Chef
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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action.

Your Stress from Injuries is reduced to 0. Lasts three hours. Does not reduce Stress from Mind Damage.

Spend an Action. Select a target any distance away from you. You must have a specific target in mind, but you require only an intuitive understanding of them, such as their name, face, or Location.

You may send a single message to your target. It can be no more complicated than a multi-page letter or a long email.

The message will only be perceived by the intended recipient. You must share a common language for your target to understand the message.

This Gift's Cost is capped at 2 and cannot be increased further.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their body and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Battle Scar: Nerve pain in your gloved hand: You are at a -1 die penalty for any roll utilizing the affected hand. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Battle Scar heals over the course of the next day.

  • Receiving a message does not force a target to pay attention to you, and they can feel free to ignore your message if they choose. Depending on the flavor of your Gift, they may or may not be able to return to it and read it later on.
  • Generally you cannot communicate with Contractors who are not in a Contract with you.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a Battle Scar on yourself to treat.

The treated Battle Scar heals as you finish activating this Effect. If used on a Battle Scar caused by an Unstabilized Injury, that Injury is Stabilized.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.

  • Exhaustion penalties and duration stack. If you activate this Effect or another Effect with Exhaustion, your penalty will worsen, and the duration is increased by one hour.

Expend a point of Battery and spend at least two Actions performing the following ritual: operate the unlockerator's interface to activate. Select a door, lock, or locked target within arm's reach , which is no more complex than a personal safe door or a keycard reader. Cannot be used on Alien technology. You must maintain Concentration while activating this Effect, and it fails if you are interrupted.

You may lock, unlock, and/or open your target.

  • Any door or restraint that is fastened or shut with a mechanism may be considered locked, at the GM's discretion. Can be used on control panels or other electronic locks, but not computer security systems.
  • If you operate a locking mechanism through this Effect which has some other secondary effect (such as the ignition on a car causing the car to start) you may cause that effect as well.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Exert your Mind and spend an hour to activate. Select a Living target within arm's reach. Your target must make a Trauma roll when you activate this Effect. Select a Battle Scar on your target to treat.

The treated Battle Scar will heal immediately.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.