I've been spending more time in the gym. I think I figured out why my gloves didn't work on Manuel. I tried them out on a buddy after sparring and it worked. So it's not that you have to be special.... it has to be an injury. I need another power. That means more jobs.... and to get through those I need to get stronger. I need to be able to take down a bear with my fists.... I've been hitting the punchbag. A lot. And I think it's working? It doesn't make any sense... I shouldn't get stronger this faster but my punches lately have been hitting hard. I knocked my oponenet out with one punch last night. Coach had his jaw on the matt.... And last night I ripped a hole in the punching bag... Is that even possible?! It has to be another power. But this time it's not a physical thing. It's just me. But this is good. This is what I needed. I have neither the skills nor connections to use guns everywhere I get sent. But my fists... well my fists are always there. It's insane but my training has saved me on both jobs... Dodging, punching... the others I've encountered might know more than me or have more firepower but those things I can do. And I can do them well. Speaking of others, still nothing from Constantine or Rikleen. I hope they're alright.

If I keep changing, are people gonna notice? Can I even keep boxing? Well, it doesn't matter. If I have to give it up to cure Manuel, I will. He looked bad last night. I need to hurry. 

I've been spending a lot of time with Manuel. It's fun. It feels like making up for lost time. He's my little brother but in so many ways I look up to him. He's so samrt and courages.  It's nice but he's getting weaker and weaker. I can barely stand to look at him. I need to hurry. I somehow need to make the gloves stronger. I need to cure him before it is too late. I think my desires manifests in these powers but it's not always how I want it to be. I feel more connected to the gloves now. I can feel where they are when I'm not carrying them. It's strange. It feels instinctual. It is strange. I suppose I got what I wanted but not in the way I want. Yes, they're more powerful but how does this help me cure Manuel?! I need to go on more jobs but the wait time is always about a month. I don't know how many months he can still hold on. It pains me not to tell him about this. I wonder what he would think of me? Would he be scared? Or proud..... I've decided that I'm going to tell him when I cure him. Everything. If he wants nothing to do with me afterwards then I'll have to live with that. I really hope I can make it in time. No, I will make it in time. Just one more job or maybe a few. I know that I can achieve the power to do this.