Billy Blitzen's Journal

Come on down!
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Bogus News

Duuuuude, just got news from those nerds in the labs that the 'cure-all' that Doctor Maurice guy gave me causes sterility. That is so totally bogus, my dude, I was hoping it could help me fix the issues from Elvis's little accident, but all it does is cure poison and disease and slightly accelerate healing. That's just so not cool brah, I need to be on my A Game for the upcoming games, what'll the coach think if I can't keep the ball out of those dudes hands?

Upside though, my beer pong game has gotten pretty wicked since that job. I got mad skills now, I even made this trick I call the 'drunken eagle', where I bounce the ball into and then out of three cups, off the table, through the chair, open a keg, and then back into the cups, yeah, I got some mad skillz now. My dart game's gotten better too, though I've been having a few issues with the darts going through the dart board. And the Door it's on. And the wall. Really hope no one get's too mad at me for that one, honestly, but hey, at least I got a new trick for if those circus dudes show up to hire me again, especially since I wasn't much good during a fight last time. Partially Elvis's fault, but still, I hate not being useful to the team, Eveybody's gotta contribute to keep everything running smooth, y'know what I'm saying? Alright, gonna end this here, peace, brah.

The Contract: LARP
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Running Laps

Coach was real mad about the whole LARP incident, bad enough I took some time off for 'a silly game', getting hospitalised and out of training for a couple weeks made him hopping mad. Once I was outta the hospital, Coach had me doing laps, push-ups, squats, you name it all day, every day. Weird enough, I didn't actually feel outta practice even though I was in the hospital so long, like my body just stayed static while I was laid up in bed. My times on the track even got a bit faster, which is pretty crazy.

Speaking of crazy, the weirdest thing happened during my stay at the hospital. One morning, when I woke up, I had this wicked burning feeling in my legs, around my calfs, like I'd been sprinting all day every day for two weeks straight, or doing squats with a 100 kilo weight. When I looked down at my legs, I had these crazy rad wing tattoos on them, like those pictures of Hermes the art students have. Or was that history? Something specialised in Ancient Greece? I dunno, brah, all that culture stuff makes my head spin. Anyway, after a bit, they stopped burning, and I was finally able to check out of the hospital, and man do I feel great. My beer pong game is on point these days, and all the other guys on the field can't even keep up with me anymore, it's just great! Best part is, I can run full tilt without even exhausting myself! How cool is that!

pest control
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Mistakes were made

Billy felt bad. Sure, he won, but he was supposed to be part of the team, he wasn't supposed to get scared, what was up with him lately? Whatever, he didn't have time to feel sorry for himself, he just had to run with this, get better, everything just needed a little more hard work. He could do it. What was next on the training regime? Right, running.

Billy was fast now. He'd always been fast, of course, he was a star at whatever sport he played because of it, but now he was fast. He could feel it as he ran, his pace picking up, he was like a car on Nitrous, or a rocket, or a jet plane. Yeah, he liked the jet plane metaphor best, he could practically feel the wind beneath his wings picking him up as he ran, getting faster, faster, faster, fas-

Billy took off. From one end of the jump to the other, Billy could feel it as his momentum shifted, everything holding him down just pushing him up and forwards. It was a good thing he'd taken to using an empty track field ever since his speed started to get really freaky, otherwise whatever he just did would probably be all over the net by morning. Still, actually taking off from the ground? That was a pretty awesome power, if he did say so himself. That feeling just before and as he did it though, that was... what was it the physics nerds talked about, momentum? He got fast, and the running he did as he got fast made him faster. Yeah, that seemed about right, and he just shifted that from around his feet to up. Man, this physics stuff was easy, he wondered why he never did great on it in high school?

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Martial Arts

BROOOOO! I totally know Kung Fu now! I was, like, taking a class on it, seeing as I'm not great at the whole "close quarters" thing, and it just sorta... clicked. Not the actual Kung Fu stuff, or any of that, but the whole super speed Kung Fu thing! See, I'm like, way fast, bruh, and if I go really fast, then that means I punch real fast, and if I punch real fast, or kick real fast, or just do anything real fast, there's suddenly a whole lotta force behind me, you get what I'm saying, bruh? And then, and then, with all that force, my hit becomes really, really hard, so I can just straight up punch dudes.

Aside from that, anyway, I'm like, way fast now. Not like before, where I had to turn it on, sort of like a car, instead it's just, like, all the time. I can probably outrace cars over a decent distance now, dude, it's just wicked cool. Almost like there was some kinda... update, to the way my powers work. I don't feel like I'm going as fast as I used to, but hey, it's a good trade to be able to go fast any time I want now, I'm gonna dominate all the games the coach puts me in, for sure. Now all I gotta do is make sure I don't go too fast, and end up getting called out. That'd sure be a bad time, just cause I'm breaking the laws of physics don't mean I'm breaking the rules though.

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