This contract business is nothing like what I thought. How do you prepare to fight monsters? I'll make a plan, like I've always done, and then I'll follow it.

Step 1. Keep working for Parnassus. I've got to keep up appearances, and we need the money.

Step. 2. Get a safety deposit box: I'm living as lean as I can, and squirreling away for the money for Mom and the family. If something happens to me, David will get the key and all the instructions I've left behind.

Step 3. Connect with the Tongans: not local, too risky. I'll get connected to one of the communities in New Zealand or Fiji. Pay someone to get word to one of the small villages that could hide everyone if something happens to me or hide all of us once I've got enough for us to dip.

Step 4. Make some contacts of my own to help me get weapons under the radar. There's plenty I can get with the gang here, but someone always knows about that. Take too much and people get suspicious

Step 5. Maintain my armor, and maybe get better armor. My ballistics jacket is badass and it lets me blend into a crowd. It protected me from getting knifed by snowman, but what I take on next may be more dangerous. Still, too much armor and I can't move that well, and I need to be able to move. I'll do some research to see if there's thicker armor that still lets me do what I need to do.

Step 6: Revamp my fitness routine. Running in snow kicked my ass. I need to change it up so I can be ready for anything. First thing tomorrow, I start running on the beach. The sand's not exactly snow, but it's the best I can do. I think I'm going to try out the new rock climbing gym too...

After this latest job, I've been edgy. I was supposed to get Nigel to the Foundation, and I failed. I really don't like failure. I'm still alive because I've never failed Parnassus. If something ever happened to his car or his kids on my watch, I don't doubt he'd kill me or my family without a second thought. It's made me feel, well, sensitive about my work. Last Friday, one of the mechanics made a joke that I was riding the brakes too hard on the town car last Friday, and I punched him. It was like I couldn't control it or something. The good news is this place is down, and pay them a bunch of money, so they kind of just deal with it and ignore a lot. I bought him a beer afterwards to make up for it, but I wouldn't blame him for holding a grudge. He'll be working with one eye for a few days...

 I feel like I'm on a hair trigger and working out hasn't even touched it. My instructor at the rock-climbing gym normally calls out pointers while I'm on the wall, but even he knew not to talk to me. Normally, I feel awesome after I work out - endorphins - or whatever you call it, but nothing's helping. I ran two extra miles to try to clear my head, and all I felt afterwards was tired.

I went for my language tutoring at the library, and it was so hard to keep my head in the game…Ms. Everett, one of the librarians, told me that the library’s online website has a whole section for self-improvement and meditations. She said I could download it using my library account, and then listen to them on my phone. I’m going to start listening to them in the car and see if it helps me feel any better. I think I’ll start tonight – facemask, bath, do my nails: the whole nine yards.  

I think changing up my workout routine has really helped my physicality. I’m more in touch with the way I move. I can’t imagine being able to crawl through a vent, much less fight in one, 2 months ago, but last month, I did it and I won! It’s definitely proof that my fitness routine is working. So, for now, I’ll keep rock climbing and running on the beach.

A couple of weeks ago, Jess asked me to come with her to one of her dance classes. I’m not really into dancing so much, but I thought it might be worth a shot – kind of the way that football players take ballet. Changing my fitness routine really gave me an edge on some of my contracts, so I figured why not. It was their open house week, so I got to take a couple of classes to see if I liked it, and you know, it wasn’t so bad. I’m not going to be a ballerina any time soon, but their stretch class was amazing. I felt so good afterwards. I never thought about how tense I get from driving and shooting. The samba class was fun too. I don’t really like dancing with a partner; I’m taller than a lot of these guys and they’re way to handsy. No one’s hand need to be that low on my back in order to lead me anywhere! The parts where we got to just do steps by ourselves was pretty fun though. I’ll have to do some research to see if there are any Māori teachers in the area.

I absolutely love the Long Beach County library! I've learned so much there, and it's really improving my work as a contractor. I tried out a speech class. We were mostly just reading poems, but I think it’ll do a lot more to help me talk to others. I even tried taking a typing/mobile devices literacy class. Who knew there were people who could help you get better at typing with your thumbs? Ms. Johnson, the library's head of programming hasn't looked at me weird or asked why I keep coming back for so many different kinds of classes.  She's also pointed me to some great how-to books to keep practicing at home. 

I've been thinking about taking a martial arts class, but I keep deciding against it. Those classes happen on pretty strict schedules. You can't just drop in whenever and take a class. My personal schedule is...unconventional to say the least. I'd love to get better with my knives. For now, I guess I'm stuck with watching You-Tube videos and DVDs from the library to pick up some tips. If I want to be well-rounded, I need to get good at working with quiet weapons too. Speaking of, I got my hands on a .22 caliber and a got new silencer – much easier to hide, and much quieter. One nice positive of being in a gang is that it’s pretty easy to get my hands on a small gun. My Glock will always be my baby, but I’m getting tired of having to smuggle my weapons into places. I saw Constantine do some weird magic trick to hide his weapons. I’ll have to ask him about it.

As for the Blue Lagoon Plan, I’m squireling away money in the safe deposit box. Once I have enough, I’m going to buy a nail salon so there’s a way to hide the money. Jess and Alyssa already work as nail techs, so they’ll just come work at the family business! I’m so close to having enough to hide them somewhere safe for the rest of their lives. Once I’ve taken care of them, I’m going to take care of Parnassus and all the rest of the Puias…

I was not in a great place after my last contract. I felt like I'd been tricked into entering a situation with a bunch of people who were not equipped for this and were unwilling to adapt. They tell us we're contractors, we're bad asses, we should get it together - but they pick a group that makes you feel like you've been set up to fail. I was more angry than sad about it. Even with all the new powers I haver, I felt powerless. I need to start being way more selective about my jobs. If I get offered one, I'm going to start making some calls to see if someone I trust will be there too. If not - I'm not taking the job. That's that. I can't afford to fail. Life is dangerous enough, and I've got people to protect. 

I haven't heard from Constantine in over a month. I haven't been able to get a hold of him. That probably only means one thing. Well, wherever you ended up, I hope you're at peace now. Constantine was supposed to be my back up plan - the person who called my family to tell them to get out of town, if I died on a contract. With him gone, I’m going to have to automate. I've already hidden the keys at Mom's. If I don't come back from a contract in time to cancel it, and email will automatically be sent to David, telling him where to find them, and what bank deposit boxes to retrieve. They'll have most of the money I've made from working, and the open-ended plane tickets to Fiji. Hopefully it's enough to hide them. If I do disappear, hopefully Parnassus won't care enough to chase them down.

In the meantime, I'll keep going to my oration class at the library. And - I think I might start reading the society pages in the newspaper. I've got to get better at talking to people, and blending in. I'm great with Parnassus's kids, but teenagers and adults, not so much. Well, I'll do all of that right after I get a massage and a pedicure. I need to shake off this last job.