Henry Tem's Journal

Vignettes Of A Thief

The Ghost Whisperer
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Downtime
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Downtime

No Post On Sundays

Henry resolves to start getting used to his ferret form one Sunday morning, as he wakes up drowning in blanket, flailing every limb he has - including his tail, he dejectedly notes. After more undignified scrabbling, he stands - "TRIUMPHANT! HA HA!" - at his full mini mammal height of approximately thirteen inches, tiny paws clenched in wiggling fists.

No, this was not the first time he randomly morphed, and he could not for the life of him figure out why it happened so erratically.

"This ends NOW", squeaked Henry.

One must understand, now, that Henry does not realize that he can't speak in animal form yet. All he says, for now, is able to be heard only as assorted ferret noises.

And that's a lot of ferret noises, if you consider all the cursing he does as he realizes that the bathroom sink towers above him and he doesn't quite have the... er... height... to reach anything past the bottom drawer. But Wait! Ah! Henry's little ferrety brows raise in excitement. He rubs his paws together, bipedal if only momentarily, then throws his entire upper body onto the knob, wrapping it in his arms - and throwing his body weight backwards.

C'EST VOILA!! AN OPEn... Er... Drawer. Full of miscellanea. Great, monologues Henry, I'll have to do this two more times. Cor Blimey, how the HELL did I get into this situation... And now being a ferret is NORMAL for me? Normal - what even IS normal ANYWAYS god fucking DAMN if I could go back in time and strangle that orange twink. I'm to believe HE gave me those powers, eh? And not the murder crab? Right. Ooh! Mirror!

During Henry's squeaky, tiny ramble, he'd slung himself across the other drawer knobs and opened them to create a sort of stair system up which he scrambled. He then found himself staring at himself in the mirror, and there he stood for a few seconds.

Gosh. What a different view it is from up here. Henry peered over the edge of the bathroom counter, scooting back when the vertigo slammed up into his eyes. His back foot slipped, though, and as ferrets are fairly bottom-heavy (especially ferret-Henry as he's already considerably chubby as a human) he fell into the sink.

The sink was steep and grimy and uncomfortably slick, and its owner (tiny ferret man) realized too quickly that a. it should've been washed at least a month earlier and 3. Henry, as a ferret, was not going to get out of there, as a ferret. Figuring out how to transform at will was imperative unless Henry wanted to spend the rest of his days eating sink scum.

-

The sun loomed high noon in the sky, and still Henry tried fruitlessly to escape his deep, mildly industrial seeming sink. The wet was getting in his fur, and it was unlike any discomfort he'd ever felt on earth before. Seemed quite a bit like being nude in an alien swamp, he reminisced fondly (FONDLY?) and stuck his pointy little head in his paws.

AUGH! He squeaked. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? DEAR HOLY F

(swearing session cut for redundancy)

AND THE EVEN I... er... oh WAIT... hm. MAYBE if I just...

Henry then contorted his tiny ferret facial features into an adequate analogue of a cabbage with constipation.

He reached a paw out to the sky, attempting to recall the sensation of having fingernails instead of claws (which involved a lot less bones) and then thought about how many bones he had, and resolved to count and name the ones he could remember... skull, humerus (ha), radius, ulna, tibia, fibia, spinal vertebrae, clavicle, hmm this sink feels sort of tight, "OH."

"YES! YAHOO! I DID IT! I'm FREE! I'm... Oh. still stuck in the sink. Great, now I'm too large."

He wriggled a hand free and gripped the faucet - then as a ferret, wrapped his slinky length around it and scurried down and onto the counter surface.

Hm. This is gonna come in handy.

Setting Assail
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