Strange disappearances in Israel linked to mysterious "Death-Chair"

Recently, a series of strange disappearances have shaken up Israeli & Palestinian netizens alike; investigations by proper authorities have located the cause: a mysterious lawn chair.

[A video pans, audio of the beach waves crashing on towards the banks, seabirds above and abound chirping their sea-songs undisturbed, the center of the video as it focuses; two empty lawn chairs... and a 100-foot radius perimeter around said lawn chairs, seemingly enforced by IDF soldiers behind makeshift-concrete barriers. A reporter then walks into the frame, ready to give his testimony. A translation is unavailable; there is no transcript of the dialogue.]

"שורה של היעלמויות באזור מטרידה ותמהה רשויות וחוקרים ישראלים זה מכבר; עד עכשיו... רק לאחרונה עלה לרשת סרטון ויראלי של אדם יושב על כורסת הדשא הזה ונעלם', מה שנותן לחוקרים להסגר את האזור עד להגעת "הרשויות הנכונות"."

Just weeks prior to the event; a viral video surfaced on Cryptoleak.

[This video depicts that same beach, though much more populated and missing the perimeter, a tourist appears to be talking to his wife in Hebrew; he's on camera, he's smiling, beach-body, and he goes to sit down on the lawnchair in question... before... completely disappearing a scream. This video was taken on Instagram Live, and has since been re-uploaded to multiple sources, including Cryptoleak.] 

[If you are curious what your Contractor would know about this, please DM Badtzmaruboy through proper channels..]

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: WHO IS THE WINNER?

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: WHO IS THE WINNER?
 

WHO WON?

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE RESULTS.

SIR BENEDICT HOLLYSMITH & SANGUINE BLOODSTORM

SIR BENEDICT HOLLY SMITH, THE ESTEEMED GENTLEMAN, AND SANGUINE BLOODSTORM THE PONYCORN, RELEASED AN INTERVIEW-PODCAST TO BBC2, IN SPECIAL INTEREST PROGRAMING, IN WHICH THE TWO HELD A DISCUSSION ABOUT MAGIC, MORTALS, QUANTUMS, PARALLEL WORLDS, AND GENERAL PONYTALK... BRIEFLY SHOWING OFF TELEKINETIC ABILITIES, AND DELVING INTO AN "EQUESTRIA", THE MULTIVERSE, AND OF SCIENCE AND MAGIC... AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW. 

The Swamp Man (Monster?)

THIS VIDEO, METAL AS FUCK, SHOWCASED A BLACK AND WHITE CAMERA (NIGHTVISION); GLOWING EYES IN THE SWAMP SIDELINE BELONGING TO AN 8-9 FOOT GATOR IMMEDIATELY BEING SNUCK BY A DIFFERENT BEAST FROM BENEATH THE MURK!!! THIS BEAST, WAS MAN-SHAPED, MAN-SIZED, AND WITH THE VIGOR OF MAN WAS DEATHROLLING THE GATOR IN A BRUTAL MORTAL-KOMBAT STYLE FIGHT! THE APEX AMBUSH PREDATOR OF THE SWAMP, THE GATOR, FOUND ITSELF PREY TO THE NOW-DUBBED "SWAMP MAN"; AS THE SWAMP MAN USED A SPEAR-LIKE HAND-EXTENSION TO LAUNCH THE THING AROUND AND DEATH WRESTLE IT ABOVE, AND BENEATH, THE WATER IN A SPLASH OF GORE AND SPRAYS OF BLOOD; BEFORE DRAGGING THE GATOR'S CADAVER OFF-CAMERA AS MORE GATORS SHOWED UP... JUST AT THE EDGE OF THE CAMERA, GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER, AS THE SWAMP MAN TOOK HIS WELL-FOUGHT BOUNTY OFF-CAMERA.

Frankie Horrigan "Goon Giant" 

A NEWS BROADCAST (THROUGH HELICOPTER), MULTIPLE FIRST-HAND REPORTERS AND WITNESSES ON-SCENE, BODY-CAMERA FOOTAGE, INSIDE-BUILDING-FOOTAGE, ALL OF WHICH COMPILED TOGETHER FORMED AN EPIC NARRATIVE & COMPELLING RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK AS THE "GOON GIANT" (Now known to be Frankie Horrigan, the esteemed Chicago-Family Mobster), SHOWED UP DURING THE NEMA FIRE-FIGHT OF 2023 TO MAKE A SPLASH... AND A BIG ONE HE MADE, AS HE RESCUED RAY WEST, FATHER TO THE KAN"YE" WEST, FORMER BLACK PANTHER, ESTEEMED MILLIONAIRE, LAUNCHING HIMSELF INTO A WHOLE SKYSCRAPER, DEMONSTRATING SERIOUS SUPERNATURAL ABILITY, AND THEN RUNNING THROUGH THE NEMA AS A FIRE IN THE UPPER-MIDDLE FLOORS RAGED. THE "GOON GIANT", THE FRANKIE HORRIGAN, THEN DEMOLISHED ARMED THUGS ON HIS ASCENT, BEFORE SMASHING HIS WAY INTO THE PENTHOUSE, DISCOVERING BETWEEN THE ROOMS A SECRET CRAWLSPACE USED FOR A NOW-UNEARTHED TRAFFICKING OPERATION, AND THEN PROMPTLY USING THE LAST OF HIS CONSCIOUSNESS TO TAKE OUT THE THUGS AND RESCUE RAY WEST QUITE LITERALLY; FROM THE END FO THE LINE. NEWS COPTERS THEN CAPTURED THAT FRANKIE HORRIGAN WAS AIR-LIFTED OUT BY POLICE CHOPPERS, WITH RAY WEST, A HERO, AND A MADE MAN. 

RESULTS!

SWAMP MAN : 2.6Million views

BENEDICT & SANGUINE : 29.3Million views

FRANKIE HORRIGAN : 44.1Million views

(FRANKIE WINS)

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: RAY WEST, FATHER OF KANYE WEST, SAVED BY 'BLUE GIANT' MOBSTER FRANKIE HORRIGAN

ABC CHICAGO

BREAKING NEWS

--------------------

STARTING EARLIER THIS WEEK RAY WEST, FATHER OF KANYE WEST, WAS PRONOUNCED MISSING IN CHICAGO

HE WAS VISITING HIS LATE WIFE, "DONDA" DONNA WEST, WHEN A PREMEDITATED, PRE-PLANNED, KIDNAPPING & HOSTAGE-RANSOM OPERATION TOOK HIM BY STORM.

===============

RAY WEST FOUND HIMSELF AT THE TOP OF THE NEMA, CHICAGO, A 75-FOOT TALL BUILDING EQUIPPED WITH LUXURIES SUCH AS INDOOR-POOLS, TERRACES, OVERLOOKS OF THE ENTIRE CITY (AND EVEN THE GREAT LAKES), A STATE-OF-THE-ART SKYPIERCER WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, BECAME A TOWERING PRISON FOR THE POOR MAN.

RAY WEST'S SON, KAN"YE" WEST, FLEW IN TO ASSIST HOSTAGE NEGOTIATORS AND POLICE WHO CIRCA 6-PM LOCALTIME WERE PREPARING TO ENTER THE BUILDING, AND BEGIN NEGOTIATIONS, EVACUATIONS CARRIED OUT FOR WHO COULD BE EVACUATED IN THE LOWER FLOORS: AND ADVISORY ISSUED OTHERWISE.

IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL THOUGH, REPORTS OF A BLUE GIANT ON-SCENE STARTLED CROWDS AND PASSERBYS, WHO CAUGHT THE MAN'S ENTRANCE WITH A FEW OTHER GOONS IN SUITS; HE WAS IDENTIFIED AS FRANKIE HORRIGAN (AFTER THE FACT), CHICAGO FAMILY MOBSTER AND "GOON", AND WARNED OFF-SET BY POLICE PRESENCE. THE MOBSTER IS REPORTED, BY EYE-WITNESSES AND NEWS CHOPPERS, TO HAVE WENT INTO A NEIGHBORING HIGH-RISE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET (120 FEET AWAY, HORIZONTALLY).

SECURITY REPORTS THEY "SIMPLY MISSED THE GIANT ENTERING", CAMERA FOOTAGE SHOWS OTHERWISE AS HE QUITE LITERALLY WALKED IN, WALKED INTO THE STAIRS, SCALED 50 FLOORS IN JUST 10 MINUTES (IN A MAD DASH), AND ARRIVED AT THE TOP ROOF-ACESS; ALL WHILE BODY-CAMERA FOOTAGE FROM THE GOON GIANT HIMSELF CAPTURED THE ASCENT. HE THEN, AS A NEWS CHOPPER ANGLED IN ON HIS FIGURE, THREW A FROSTED-IBEAM ACROSS INTO THE NEMA AT THE 40TH STORY; CRASHING IT THROUGH THE BUILDING'S APARTMENT UNIT, AN UNRAVELING HIS OWN SELF AT THE SEAMS TO "FLY" WITH THE BEAM... ARRIVING IN THE NEMA.

AS HE ARRIVED IN THE NEMA, HE MADE HIS WAY THROUGH SOMEONE'S APARTMENT, YELLING AT SOME POOR MIDDLEAGED MAN TO EVACUATE AS HE, ON CAMERA, AND WITH CAMERA OF HIS OWN, SHOWCASED HIS ASCENT UP THE BUILDING; TAKING OUT TWO TERRORISTS ON THE WAY UP, AS AN UNKNOWN FIRE RAGED IN THE UPPER FLOORS.

HE THEN ATTEMPTED THE VENTS, TO NO AVAIL (SOMEHOW FINDING THE ABILITY TO SQAUSH HIMSELF DOWN TO EVEN FIT IN THE VENTS TO BEGIN WITH), BEFORE SUPER-HERO SUPER-MAN JUMPING UP THE STAIRWELL A GOOD 20-30 FLOORS... GETTING TO THE TOP PENTHOUSE FLOOR, AND BUSTING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DOORS, THROUGH THE WALLS, GETTING THE JUMP ON THE HOSTAGE-TAKERS BY USING HIS I-BEAM AS A SORT OF RIOT-SHIELD TO BLOCK THEIR BULLET BARRAGES. THE GOON GIANT, FRANKIE HORRIGAN, THEN EASILY DISPATCHED THEM WITH A CONE OF DESTRUCTION; DESTROYING THE ENTIRE EASTERN WINDOW-WALL OF THE PENTHOUSE, AND THE HOSTAGE-TAKERS, AND LEAVING JUST ONE OF THESE THUGS.

THIS THUG, HELD A PISTOL TO RAY WEST'S HEAD, WARNING HIM NOT TO APPROACH ANY CLOSER... ALL WHILE NEWS CHOPPERS, BODY-CAM, AND CAMERA, CAPTURED IT ALL, THE GOON GIANT ATTEMPTED TO REASON WITH THE HOSTAGE-TAKER BEFORE REALIZING IT WAS USELESS... APPROACHING, TERRIFYING THE MAN AND FORCING HIM OFF THE LEDGE... MANAGING TO MAKE A LAST-DITCH CATCH, DROPPING THE THUG 800 FEET WHILE SAVING RAY WEST FROM THE SAME DROP.

THE GOON GIANT THEN PASSED OUT FROM OVEREXERTION, AND BUILDING SMOKE TENSION, HAVING SAVED RAY WEST, AND MADE HIMSELF A HERO AND MADE MAN OF THE DAY... FINDING HIMSELF ESCORTED OUT AND SKY-LIFTED BY A POLICE CHOPPER.

AFTER THE FACT, KANYE WEST HAS ISSUED A STATEMENT.

===============

Kan"ye" West

---------

"That Frankie Horrigan guy's it man, He's... he's the next Big thing! Literally! I cannot give more thanks to the guy, shit, i'ma put my next song on him."

(Kanye West goes on to state how his next track, "Blue Giant", will be commemorating Frankie Horrigan)

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: 'THE SWAMP MAN' VIDEO, UNCENSORED ON CRYPTOLEAK

:CRYPTOLEAK:

:THE SWAMP MAN:

:IS HE REAL:IS HE AMONG US:

:HE IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS:HE HAS A SPEAR GUN IN HIS ARM:

:SEEN FLIPPING A GATOR:TOSSING THE GATOR IN THE AIR:

:PRESUMED HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE:CRYPTOZOOLOGISTS SAYING LOCATED IN EVERGLADES:

:PRETTY BADASS:WISH I COULD WRASSLE A GATOR LIKE THAT:

:ID HAVE A BEER WITH HIM IF HE CAN SPEAK ENGLISH:HELL YEAH BROTHER:

:VERY VIRAL:I HAVE THE UNCENSORED VERSION:

:MY MOM THREW UP WHEN SHE SAW HIM MORTAL KOMBAT THE GATOR:PLUS HE TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT:

:YEAH, TOTALLY NAKED:HELL YEAH BROTHER:

CRYPTOQUEST HEADLINES: A SPECIAL INTEREST INTERVIEW WITH 'SANGUINE BLOODSTORM,' BY SIR BENEDICT HOLLYSWORTH

BBC TWO

An Interview with a Pony: a Special Interest Programme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

One week ago, a special interest piece was innocuously ran on the BBC Two channel - during a special segment on human interest programmes, including many interviews of people of diverse backgrounds, education, and circumstance. This week, recordings of this programme have received an incredible amount of interest - turning into a viral sensation regarding one of these interviews.

We go now to Fredrick "XTLucarioLover" Armani who is the head of the Official Sanguine Bloodstorm Discord Server.

"EQUESTRIA IS REAL. THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, IT'S REAL, AND I'M GOING THERE."

"And you felt inspired by this interview, is that right Mr. Armani?"

"Just me? Are you kidding me? Anypony who's anypony seen this - seen it and it's-it's only the biggest news in the past CENTURY. And like Benedict, like, he's british and so badass. Like steampunk, like that. It's actually a lot like my steampunk pony-"

"Which we'd love to hear about in just a moment. For our viewers, just how big a following does the Sanguine Bloodstorm Discord have?"

"Oh, um... twenty-two thousand members. And um, we're hiring mods, and if you're over 18 we've got a really good channel-"

As you can see, this interview has attracted enormous amounts of online attention. On the main BBC channel, this clip of the famous anthropologist Sir Benedict Hollysmith and his pony companion has many fields of study in a tizzy. Cryptozoologists, Quantum physicists, and Supernatural scientists trying to confirm the veracity of this supernatural creature have been in concerted effort to contact Mr. Hollysmith. Most, it seems, doubt the integrity of the programme, and a handful of hit pieces claiming to find evidence of CGI have been realeased.

Next, the weather.

Cryptoleak: "Face Fire" erupts; consuming NYC 3-story Apartment!

"NYC Face Fire"

Cryptoleak

Multiple videos are available on Cryptoleak detailing a singular event, from multiple angles, at multiple times throughout the day; Police and eye-witness-reports, as well as contextual background people(s), also serve and prove to validate that this event did infact occur, and that there were in fact.

Faces in the fire.

(Cryptoleak Symbol)

======================================================

[The Camera Footage captures a large 150-x-150feet plot of land taken up by a 3-story apartment building somewhere in NYC, though it doesn't seem to be a good part of NYC (though where is right?). The building is wrapped and enveloped in a hellish flame, there is a crowd of bystanders, and police, looking on in horror.]

[The flame seems to have faces in it, vivid, formed, faces, every face and every "Person" in the fire screaming out in hellish agony in different languages, the faces depicting people from different time periods... The videos uploaded to Cryptoleak detail the progress of the fire all the way to hour(s) after it's end... when the Apartment Building has been reduced to rubble and debris.]

The apartment building, nor any of the people in it, could be saved or recovered... the investigation is underway as the NYC Fire Department struggles to move the rubble to recover any bodies or any evidence of what may have started the fire... Authorities have released a statement that they believe it was due to old furnishings, improper old wire-work, and faulty electronics, as well as the summer dry spell. 

The Vatican has yet to make a statement.

[Photo capturing the blaze.]

(If you are curious about what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire/get involved with this event, please go through proper channels on-server)

Breaking News: DSP Standoff with Cannibal Cult!

"DSP Standoff with Cannibal Cult!"

Cryptoleak

Two men in suits and ties, black tux and all, stand in front of a camera in a dark room; their suit-and-ties read "DSP: "Fang" ", and "DSP: "Sunhunter" ", their voices are distorted and their faces are blacked out. They begin to deliver an address, through official federal-news channels; occupying a timeslot usually reserved for the morning Monday news.

[DSP Symbol]

======================================================

[The following is distorted audio garble, blurred-blacked out faces, off an official Federal program/timeslot.] 

"Citizens of the United States of America, this is a message from the Department of Supernatural Phenomena; specifically, to those living in the state of California. Agents "Sunhunter" and "Fang", we here, recently have had to conclude our investigation into a Cannibal Cult operating in the Northern Woods of California, masquerading as a small town, with termination... the cult was stockpiling firearms, explosives, chemical weapons, and as we understand as we found a manifesto, were planning to march south of I-3 to Redding and beyond; to enact a horrible plan. It with the utmost sincerity, that we at the DSP confirm; that trace elements of Supernatural origin were discovered in their safehouse... we have eliminated the cult, their enclave stronghold, and any and all traces of resistance/terror cell elements present. We understand that this event may cause hysteria, distress, or otherwise hardship for affected parties; reach out to the proper helplines and/or appropriate Federal Agencies if you would like to seek compensation or otherwise appropriate inquiry."
[The Audio-Message is preluded with video footage of a Helicopter's front-camera missile bombarding what looks to be a small middle-of-the-woods town, no larger than 1/2 of a Suburb, as well as multiple pictures and videos of body-cam footage revealing Assault Weapons, Explosives, Rocket Launchers, a mass-grave, bodies, and a manifesto detailing the cult's intention to "Consume California" in it's entirety... Disturbingly, though incredibly blurred, blacked, and edited over, some of the body-camera footage shows emaciated-white-skeletal corpses lashing out and snarling...] 

"Understand that we Agents of the DSP are here to protect the American citizen and populace from abnormal threats such as this one; this is the end of our address."

"A-Man" Illuminated?! Where is he? Who is he?

"A-Man" Illuminated! Police Encounter?!

Cryptoleak

A Frantic Tourist stands about 100-150 feet off from an encounter; its day-time, rays of sunlight beaming down, a man in baggy clothes is wrestling with a cop on the ground... a golf-cart appears to be running over what remains of a different officer, before backing up and speeding off... An old man lies dead not far-off, blood pooling from his body... a different man lies about 70-feet down the dirt road; in similar condition.

(Cryptoleak Symbol)

======================================================

[The following is a screencap of a live stream captured in the day from 100-150 feet away by a man, excited and frantic, strafing backward while giving commentary. The live stream was at 4:30 PM.]

"Holy shit... holy shit... he's wrestling that cop! Why'd he do that? he just ran at him!"

[A gunshot is heard, sparks flying off the man's chest as they continue wrestling.]

"Wait, what the fuck? He just got shot! What the-"

[He quickly zooms in, and as they wrestle a hole is visible in the man's sweater; muscular nano-fibers and metal wiring revealed to display a glowing "A" in the center of his pectorals... some sort of armor suit?]

"WOAH WHAT THE FUCK!"

[The "A-Man" arrests him, cuffing him, and arguing with the recorder as he begins to strafe further away.]

"Im not a villain, im a hero! He was breaking the law- I didn't do anything wrong!"

[The video cuts out as the "A-Man" starts the police truck.]

[Artist's Rendition of the "A-Man" suit.]

(If you are curious about what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire/get involved with this event, please go through proper channels on-server)

"Copkiller" Illuminated! Who is he?

Fugitive Illuminated!

Cryptoleak

(The following is taken from Cryptoleak, off an anonymous user who has not stepped forward..)

(Cryptoleak Symbol)

======================================================

[The following is blurry footage, more than 6 different angles, it appears to be on a night-time Highway Bridge; stalled traffic, darkness illuminated only by the occasional streetlight and starlight... multiple cars are behind, multiple cars in front, about 12 in eyeshot; the main subject though is a man wearing a jumpsuit, four police officers unholstering their handguns and cuffs as they get out of their cars and scream arrest and rights at the man, and a man on the ground; reeling from some prior injury.]

"GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT; ANY AND ALL!-"

The man in the jumpsuit, an older man, twists his hands towards the officers; wiry tendrils detaching from his forearms and violently almost hissing at them...

"WHAT THE FU-"

Almost in an instant, the Officers explode, as air coagulates around them into fire and smoke; their cars blowing up with them... shrapnel and debris flying into the air, hitting nearby cars, and obscuring the footage... as the smoke clears, all that can be seen is the man in the jumpsuit window-side; carrying the limping man with him... the same tendrils that seemingly caused the explosion seeping into his body... injecting something into him? The footage clips out as the driver(S) step on the gas, the highway clearing out. 

(Artist's rendition of what "Copkiller" looked like).

The individual in question has entered the interwebs as "The Copkiller" or simply "Copkiller"... no-doubt investigations are already under way as Authorities are offering up to 100,000$ for information contributing or leading up to the arrest of the Copkiller... or his companion.

(If you are curious about what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire/get involved with this event, please go through proper channels on-server)

The Red Creed; Cult Illuminated!

The Red Creed Illuminated!

Cryptoleak

(The following is taken from Cryptoleak, off an anonymous user who has not stepped forward..)

(The Symbol, of the "Red Creed")

======================================================

[A Garbled distorted voice begins to read out information, addressing the viewer and beginning to pull up related images and pictures.]

"Hello, my name is not important but it is the information I have that matters. I have come apon information that may be of interest to some of you; to others, you will scroll by and go on with your day: I know how you all operate."

"The Red Creed is a small-time small-town cult operating in Middle America, I will not discern where they operate as I do not believe in inciting violence or giving any of you Illuminators an easy mark; may the best find them, regardless..."

[A Video begins to play, from a low-floor angle depicting a seminar circle of six figures hooded in red and gold glided robes. They appear to be surrounding a naked woman... one of them produces a dagger, their faces shrouded in darkness, plunging it into the woman's forehead... as it does this, red scars open up all over the woman's body... a hundred eyes blinking at once, tendrils lashing out from each of them as they open... the footage cuts.]

"You may interpret the footage as you wish, Goodbye." 

[A series of different horrifyingly realistic depictions of tendrils-eyes flash before the video, 100 in a second, before the sound of a camera's shutter snapping ends the video.]

(If you are curious what your Contractor knows about this event, or would like to inquire / get involved with this event, please go through proper-channels on-server)