Serbian 9/11 Thwarted, Nikola Bregovic found dead in office

Will write up later

Serbian Bootleg Twink gang attempts to do Serbian 9/11 fails horribly because they aren’t the three twinks of doom

JACOB CRUZ DID 9/11, THE KNOBBLER SAID SO. GET HIS ASS!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I'll write this up later, Jesus Christ

Six found dead in bizarre string of murders - BBC News

  B   B   C 

Six found dead in a string of strange murders

                                                                4 Days ago

                                                                Neville Larson

                                                Senior Journalist at BBC News

Multiple bodies have been found around the Birmingham area in a strange series of murders. The bodies were found in multiple different locations and each containing a note written for local police. The bodies were discovered one-by-one this week, autopsies showing a massive blunt-force head trauma could be one of the causes of death. The first victim found , a local bank manager by the name of , had his face severely burned and melted off by what seemed to be some sort of acid and was found with a doorknob stabbed into his chest at the top of the Birmingham cathedral. The note left inside of him read the following: "DOORS. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT DOORS. I OPEN DOORS. I OPEN MANY DOORS. EYES ARE A WINDOW. THE HEART IS A DOOR. NO MORE WINDOWS. OPEN UP, SECRETS REVEALED." 

While most of the other notes have been written in some sort of cipher, another that has been cracked was found on the corpse of one David Carroll, an online content creator who ran the Amusement Arcadians Youtube channel. His read: "MISERY, MISERY, MISERY. UNCOUTH AND ASTRAY. UNLOCKED, FREED FROM THIS HELL." Additionally, certain major military and governmental documents seemed to have disappear along with strange break-ins across the UK and abroad, as reports from the US come in about similar killings.

While Law enforcement is attempting to find a link between these murders, its important to stay calm and make sure to keep your doors locked and shut.

Nothing bad---

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

...

A Sigh, how do you even finish this sorta thing? A guy going around, killing people with Doorknobs that have knives attached to them? It's insane. Besides, this last bit barely works. The tone is all off and while it works for news... it lacks... something.

...

Just another late night for the reporter. This whole case gave 'em the shivers, not of fear of course, but excitement. Its been awhile since he's had a good story about a killer like this. All these new age ones are just disgruntled white boys and twinks with nothing to offer, no pizzazz, no-

Knock, Knock, Knock

"Bloody 'ell, who's there!?"

...

"Hello?"

"Nevilllleeeeee..."

a voice echoes in the dimly lit study... now where in gods name could it be coming from?

"Oh for the love of- I'm not fuckin' scared of yea, you costumed creep!"

a stance... as if that would really do much, but it was better than nothing.

"I assure you... You will be."

"Sure you aren't scared yourself? C'mon, show yourself you daft cu-ACKH!"

An Arm from behind comes around his throat, its too dark to see much except the slight reflection of the attacker on the window... yet the cold chrome reveals much.

"Behind you...  sorry about the surprise, I thought you liked them."

Every breath is one wasted, the most the unfortunate reporter can get is a wheeze at times...

"I like you, Neville... I really do. You write with such... eloquence! The detail in your work is astounding really..."

"But I'm not here to fanboy Nevillleeee... I'm not here to give you an award or- or... give you the honorable medal of fantastic journalism."

"I'm here because you have something I want. I think you already know what it is, Neville."

"I- I don't."

"NAMES, NEVILLE! NAMES! MUST I SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?! I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM!"

In a seemingly random fit of anger, the stranger slams the reporter into his desk, stabbing a doorknob with an spike on its back into his hand, pinning him to his desk.

"GAH! YOU SUNNOVA-FUCK!"

"No more secrets. Now, you can either give me what I want... or we'll do this the hard way."

"YOU CRAZY TWAT, I DON'T KNOW whAT YOU'RE taLKING ABOUT!"

"Fine, be like that. I'll figure it all out my own way... BUT YOU'RE COMING WITH!"

The reporter is torn from his desk, the doorknob ripped out of his hand and suddenly picked up. The attacker taking the reporter's laptop with him.

"AUUUGHHHH, DAMN IT, PUT ME DOWN, I-"

And then thrown out his own window. A Great VRRRSSSSHHH comes from above as he's suddenly picked up by some sort of drone, the strange assailant landing on top of it.

"YOU'RE ABOUT TO HAVE THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE... YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

The last thing heard across the block, is a terrible cackling from the stranger as he rides off into the dark skies above...

Family Time

U. Dunnit flips through the pages of a document compiling the manifests of local warehouses and ports. Cross referencing with some of the stuff he's checked himself. A few pounds of fertilizer here, a couple there, some electronics missing...

Negligible. Almost. There was just something that didn't sit right with him...

He felt a tap on his shoulder. "Papa? We've gotta go!"

He glances at the clock on his desk and realized the time. "Oh sh-shoot, Pumpkin! Did you already-" Dunnit turns their head back to see that Sarah's already prepared.

He slides open a drawer to the side of the desk, stuffs the document inside, and checks to see if his keys and wallet are in his pockets.

After rushing into the car, he turns to Sarah and ruffles her hair to her annoyance. She pouts, "Papa, I just brushed my hair!"

He takes out a hairbrush from the glovebox and hands it to her, face beaming. "I can't wait for your recital, Pumpkin. You're going to do amazing."

Laughing, Sarah gave him a toothy grin before taking the brush. "You know I will!"

Driving along the road to the dance studio, Dunnit can't help but get that sinking feeling that something terrible was about to happen...

Terrorists hit VPD Headquarters, Canada pushes for Police State and counter-terrorism measures, Rising weapons manufacturer "The Daedalus Corporation" funds and supplies intense global efforts for counter-terrorism.

BREAKING NEWS:

VANCOUVER BC POLICE DEPARTMENT TOWER DESTROYED IN VIOLENT TERRORIST ATTACK AMID PROTESTS.

We come to you with terrible news, as the Vancouver BC Police department’s main tower has fallen. During a protest, 3 Supernatural Terrorists made their way into the building and demolished its supports, causing it to crash in on itself. The death toll is at 300 and rising and Tens of thousands of officers and civilians have been reported missing, injured or in critical condition. In-response, The Canadian government has already begun to move hard into counter-terrorism and anti-supernatural measures and contingencies. Additionally, Canadian Intelligence is conducting an investigation into not only the identities of these terrorists, but who they may work for. However, Canada isn’t the only one with their sights set on a war on terror. Around the world, tensions are rising and other western countries are beginning to put through their own bills in order to increase militarization in law enforcement and countering potential terroristic threats experimental weapons manufacturer “The Daedalus Corporation”. Though much is unknown about the manufacturer, they have put forth a total of 450 billion dollars into militarization efforts around the world.

Additionally, ARM-E Units designed by the UN’s newest assistant director of defense technologies, Atticus Mekk, have been finalized for deployment for defense against heavier threats. When asked about how this will effect security worldwide, Mekk responded with “I think we’ll see an uptick in global security and successful terrorist attacks being a thing of the past,” said Mekk, “We had a lot of success in the testing phases where we had them working with law enforcement. I think a full roll-out is definitely the next step.”

Only time will tell if Canada can ever recover from such a tragedy. Perhaps one day, harmony will be achieved… even if we have to go through a rough patch to get it.

Bombing causes breakout at Oregon State Penitentiary, U.N. employs reformed tech genius for new World Security solutions.

CNN

Terrible news in Oregon again as Oregon State Penitentiary, recently known for holding a large amount of criminals with strange and bizarre abilities, has been busted open by two unknown men in a helicopter. The perpetrators dropped a medium-sized IED on top of the prison complex, allowing for the escape of multiple convicts. Additionally, two more explosions were set off near the meta-wing of the prison, resulting in a chain reaction that allowed 45 convicts with special abilities to escape. 

The escaped convicts include the following: Infamous meth Kingpin Lemmy G, 'Motorcykill' Man, Gnolbert Manana, 'Lady Shade', John, 'Manhive', Polycule, The Woker, Manana, "The Creature from the Dark world", 'Tin King', 'Tele...(Can I even say that one? No?)Frag, Amephetamine-Vinyl-Machinery Man, The Wall, and Modern Man. We will continue to keep the public updated as more information about the escapees comes out.

With the world now in more danger than ever, many countries within the U.N. have called for increased security worldwide. With an almost unanimous decision, U.N. officials are now looking into unlikely allies... most specifically one convicted criminal in general, a man by the name of Atticus Mekk. Despite having the chance to escape, Mr. Mekk stayed behind to wrangle an old malfunctioning prototype military droid, one of the more dangerous in the complex.

 "Prison gave me a lot of time to reflect," Says Mekk "I don't why they kept that in there, maybe it was to keep us scared or something... but I knew that if I could use my power for good. Who knows what might come of it?" While Mr. Mekk's testimony has been under heavy scrutiny from not only Oregon state courts, but international court as well, Mekk insists that the retrieved droid in question could be the solution to global security. 

After much debate from U.N., it would later be ruled that Mr. Mekk would lead the project in creating a mechanized world defense force under intense supervision.

The world may be scarier than ever nowadays, but it's clear that even despite great evil, redemption can blossom from strange places and bring something that may change how we deal with crime forever. 

Fragments of an ambivalent lifetime... seen through the eyes of Jacob Cruz.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"Is this Jacob Cruz? No? Doesn't matter.

Tell him that Adam is inviting him out for dinner. Might get gyros. Oh, and if you know a Neil, tell him to come along too."

Click.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"It's me. I don't exactly know anyone who could help, but I'll see what I can offer on my end. Just... watch your back this time. Also, the spaghetti was good. Didn't want the birds to eat it and get sick. I only tried one strand. Burned the rest because... maybe that'll get to him somehow. Also, he visited in a dream. ...Yeah."

Click.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"Heyyy, it's meee. It's funny how people start off calls like that. Very cliched, but very cool and mysterious anyway! I'm so cool. Anyways yeah if I don't answer any calls don't panic, I'm just on some very important business as I mentioned, and if things go well I won't be back, like, ever. Or maybe I will be, I love my friends.

I've told the others already, I just think it'd be very nice of me to send a personalized message to everyone. I know, it's probably a waste of tuition money, and I know you complain about how I seem to just throw money away at every whim but hey, I'll be happy and that's what matters. I mean what? I'm always happy.

Thanks for joining my ouija thingy though. I still don't know why it spelled out your name. Sorry if that was creepy."

Click.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"If you dare tell anyone, you know what I'm capable of. Surely you've seen people like me before. Live and let live, you say? Fine. Just know that he meant something to me, and if you even think about dragging his name through the mud, K will be the least of your worries."

Click.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"Hey. I was told I should check on you more often, but surely you've been able to hold your own. I don't know why you keep looking at me weird, but if you've got something to say, say it to my face. Also... I don't know if that's Caliose. ...Just saying. How would I know? Well..."

Click.

Oregon Congresswoman Lori Chavez-Deremer missing

whoopsies!

Real life Green Goblin Spider-man caught on video at 3AM!!! Gone Wrong, gone wrong! GONE WRONG! GONE WRONG HELP. (Amusement Arcadians)

The video opens up on a young man.

He's tired.

He's been doing this for awhile, too long. But, in all honesty... it pays the bills at least.

"Hey guys! Welcome back to another calling at 3 AM Challenge video, now today I've got the number of the Green Goblin, yes you heard it, the Green Goblin from Spider man's phone number." The act is meaningless, barely there, but the world spins anyways.

"Now from what I've heard if you call the Green Goblin at 3 AM, he will come to your house and-" 

Knock, Knock, Knock 

"Who is that... Elijah, did you call someone over?" 

"No? Is that...?"

"I just saw him go into the- this isn't apart of the..."

"Well, you wanna go check? Or do you want me to turn off the camera?"

"Nah, keep it rolling... this might be something interesting, people don't just knock at this time of day..."

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

There's a hesitation as the young man walks towards the door. A Fan perhaps? at this hour? Maybe.

Checking outside the window... he can't see anything. Neither can the camera.

"Alright guys... we're gonna open the door. Maybe the Green Goblin found us already, you never know."

"Should we do it slowly or-"

click

"What was that?"

K ABOOM!

There's an explosion. The young man blasted backwards by the door, slamming him into the wall.

There's a scrambling. The camera sliding across the floor as the cameraman crawls towards it.

"DAAAAAAVIIDD!"

An individual an a strange garb waltzes into the scene, their face obscured by a somewhat bulbous helmet and hood. Body obscured mostly via tattered cloak.

They seem to be somewhat silvered in color... Nickel perhaps? Or maybe a distressed chrome...

The breath of the cameraman is heavy... an attempt to hide away. Leads to them hiding behind a corner wall.

Heavy steps approach the young man, the click of... something else.

"We have some business... you and I."

"Wh-what? Who are you?!"

"I'm your newest worst nightmare. Now get up."

The young man is picked up by the collar of his shirt, as a VRRRRRSH, comes in from off-screen.

Some sort of flying drone bursts into the room as the oddly garbed individual gets on top of it, young man in hand.

"Let's go for a ride... shall we? I know a place with a great view..."

As the two fly out of the room on the drone. A doorknob is chucked near the cameraman...

"A Parting gift!"

The Camera attempts to capture their escape, but they're too late... catching the perp only flying into the night.

There's another K ABOOM!  as the camera turns around to reveal a house in flames.

"Oh... fuck."

"We're totally getting demonetized..."

The video ends shortly after.

VPD Forensics Department Whistleblower speaks out. Department denies claims of corruption.

 C  T  V  News

Vancouver

Its no surprise that a lot has happened in the last few months down in Vancouver, SFU with it's lawsuit is only one of many potential life-altering events happening in the Vancouver area. This week, a man by the name of Jacob Cruz has spoken out against the Vancouver Police Department's forensics division about supposed corruption. 

A Video appeared on cryptoleak to apparently expose the department and it's corruption and how he was apart of "fixing" the cases due to blackmail. Much of it, upon further investigation seems legitimate.

CTV Vancouver attempted to reach out to Mr. Cruz to discuss these claims, yet found no way to contact him.

Chief of Vancouver Police Department, Troy Price, had this to say about the matter, "We're currently going under internal investigations on both the location of Mr. Cruz, and the claims of 'corruption' inside our forensics department." He said in a press conference this morning. "We don't know if this source is trustworthy or not and proper precautions must be taken so that the investigation doesn't wind up a wild goose chase."

When asked about the legitimacy of Mr. Cruz's claims, the response was simply, "We get these claims all the time from disgruntled folks with nothing to lose, it's important to know what and who you're looking at," notes Price. "We've done our own investigations and research on Mr. Cruz and we think we have an idea of who he is and what he's all about, which effects how we take this information and use it in our own assessments of corruption."

While the department says it's going under investigations, trust in the police dwindles among the populace.

On social media, Anti-police accounts post things such as "I always knew the pigs were corrupt! Just took someone inside to blow the whistle," One account writes. 

Another account posts, "There's always going to be some people who don't believe us when we say the Police DONT protect and serve. Well, now there's a video to prove it, and it can't be taken down."

When asked about how these accusations affect her line of work, Deputy Chief of Investigation - Fiona Wilson - had this to say, "These accusations only hurt our line of work more than help it. Who can trust the investigators when they can't even trust that the cases are true?" She notes. "There is a public trust that the Police have with communities, and these allegations corrode that trust. It's no good for either side."

Many cases are now being looked at with a more cynical or inquisitive lens, however, it's still hard to tell if this really is the truth, or just another charlatan. Whoever the whistleblower truly is, things are changing in Vancouver, it's just a matter of time before we see what this change truly brings.

Related Images                                                                                                                1/1    

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Arbutus Residences Condo Floods

Causing massive damage 

Vancouver Residents report 

'Missing Doorknobs' in a strange set

of Doorknob related Thefts.

Skewers Pita Bar under investigation

for Health code violations due to

'Rat piss' in their fries

Wronging Past Wrongs

From the depths of a cave in Daemsdale, Scotland, a screen flickers to life, followed by another, and another. A silhouette sits before it, dark and obscured by the bright light behind them. 

"Jacob Cruz...

You have treaded carelessly into territory that you can't even claim to understand. The first thing you ask of a stranger is for him to kill you, shirking the final request of the one you never deserved. Instead you come crawling to his abode and taint his status quo. He asked for you to live so you shall live until he finds it suiting to change his mind. I'm only doing this for him, though I doubt either fate would satisfy your undying ego. Deny it as you may, but in the end your true self peeks through the cracks. 

You're just a FED from start to end - don't think for a single second that I've forgotten. You are of some use to me for now, but soon enough I'll make you wish for death so terribly that you could barely breathe. Your current state is bliss compared to what I'll put you through. Ever read that short story by Harlan Ellison?

Zephyren was forgiving. Now, he's dead. If you're assuming you could take advantage of me as you have done to him...

We'll have so much fun.

Don't fail now, Jacob.

There is very much left to do.

You wish not to release those files...

So now your lives are in my hands."

The screens flicker and crackle before they all turn off at once.

An empty laugh echoes through the lonely cavern.

Stan's Happy Marriage

[Crackle. Click. The reel starts turning. Maria waves at the camera.]

"Testing, testing...

Y'know, I've always wanted to try using one of these. I didn't know we had one lying around in the first place, but cleaning out storage has found me this old gem. Old-school film has always been nostalgic for me, I remember going to the movies for the first time. The film scene has changed a lot since then - I get why you've been endeavoring to restore its old glow. Don't the youngsters have film grain filters on their phones nowadays? Anyways.

Stan, I can't say I completely understand what you've seen and why you're doing it - change can start from the flap of a butterfly's wings. I guess powers are a shortcut to it and you've always had that noble sense of heroism, but this isn't DND. Your life is at stake, far more than the dangers of daily life or stunts. I'd hate to see you get hurt, and I hope you understand I find it hard to believe in armor provided by a nameless person. Worst of all I thought you'd killed yourself. Do you understand how terrifying it would've been if you hadn't lived through this job to come back to me?

But I'm afraid that if I were to argue too much, you'd stop telling me things again in hopes of decreasing my worries. That just makes it worse for all of us. I...I think I need to go see a therapist. I haven't been sleeping well. Not since last month.

You've always wanted to help people and I love you for that. Just let me help you too. You're only human, and I hope these jobs will never take away from that.

Te amo.

Now... that feels a bit better. What do I do with this? ...Ah, it's almost time to pick the kids up from school."

[Click.]

SFU Turned VFU?

In light of recent events regarding SFU's Harbour Centre, a man by the name of Verglas Frij has stepped up as a representative of the university student body to deliver their collective complaints to Dr. Joy Johnson's doorstep in the form of a scathing lawsuit. While case details remain largely unknown, students speculate that it has something to do with the cause of the explosion and ongoing investigations about harrassment in the Burnaby campus. It remains unconfirmed whether Mr. Frij was the anonymous source from the previous news report, but it has been confirmed that a rebranding will be occurring in the next while - after the executives come back from winter vacation, of course. 

Tune in next time for raccoon compilations collected from various students of VFU.

Harbour Centre Explodes?

Vancouver Moon: Local office building beneath the Vancouver Rotating Restaurant explodes

On December 10, at 11pm, what sounded like an explosion occurred in the office building just under the tourist landmark, the Vancouver Rotating Restaurant. It seems to have originated from the middle floors of Harbour Centre, and remains of turtle shells can be found on the street near the disaster site. The building structure is relatively unharmed, though the public is advised not to enter the building for any reason for the moment.

Authorities are cooperating with staff of Simon Fraser University, which co-owns this building, to locate any possible missing persons or casualties.

Tune in later for- 

. 

.

.

[Witnesses could still hear the fleeting voice of a certain little creature: "HELLO!"]

In other news, an anonymous source has alerted us to an ongoing series of complaints related to the handling of student mental health and security within Simon Fraser University. Alongside ongoing issues with harrassment from people beyond the student populace, they describe the unfair conditions under which teaching assistants and security guards are working, as well as strange dealings with a college that is associated with the university. They are advocating for better efforts towards ensuring safety and accountability from staff and faculty, especially regarding the Harbour Centre incident. They also highlight hygiene-related issues regarding facilities.

They close with this statement: "Academia should not fall to the whims of greed and sloth."

Terrorism Strikes across the west coast!

KOIN 12

We interrupt your broadcast to bring you breaking news. A Potbelly Subs, beloved Portland Sandwich restaurant has exploded in what seems to be an act of terrorism. Those on the scene report hearing gunshots from nearby, with multiple individuals caught in the blast. Authorities and Emergency services arrived at the scene moments after the blast to evacuate civilians and retrieve the wounded. Officials are still counting the casualties from the blast, but luckily it seems like most had evacuated the scene before then. Leaving this attack with minimal dead.

One individual took keen note of the scene before the blast.

"I was sitting in the restaurant eating my sandwich when suddenly I hear a gunshot and this sickly lookin' guy drops dead! And then two dudes pulled out guns and we were outta there... there was some guy in a pink cowboy hat, seemed odd. I think he said something about his name bein' "Goro" or whatever? I got a feelin' he was the one that shot first somehow, and that and he definitely was in with some terrible people."

We'll continue to bring you updates on the situation as it comes to us... in other news, local Korean Taco Truck Owner, Sung Won Shu was seemingly murdered in broad daylight. Police say that a light caliber rifle was most likely used...

KRON4

It's a terrible day for the bay area as families and friends alike mourn the loss of hospitalized loved ones. In a tragedy that nobody could've seen coming, Saint Francis Hospital has fallen. With a death total coming in the hundreds to thousands, San Francisco will never be the same.

It was first attacked by a gang of armed men on drugs. An army of them stood outside the building, denying entrance to the hospital and blocking first responders from moving in. As such a SWAT Team was called in to deal with the hostile threat. However, it was too late as more than half of the floors were devoid of life. 

Not too soon after that, an explosion rocked the 10th floor of the building, causing massive damage to the structure and causing it to collapse in on itself. The SWAT Team was able to evacuate some civilians and wounded in time... but not many. Authorities also noticed a sniper on a rooftop, it is unknown who the individual is or who he works for, however he had succeeded in killing at least 3 officers. Additionally, there were times where bystanders swore they could see someone on the side of the building. Footage of this individual has not been obtained, nor the identity of the supposed Wall-crawler. However, eye-witness reports say that a man wearing "Spider-Armor" reportedly entered the building along with the attackers.

Clearly this is nothing less than a targeted attack on San Francisco.

It is unknown whether this attack is linked to the Condo bombing from a couple days ago. However, authorities are not ruling out the possibility...

New Two Species of Cryptid sighted? The latest Cryptid News with Ted Kabgoon

Cryptidwatch Quickie

Hey-oh folks, welcome to Cryptidwatch, the show where we show you the latest and greatest cryptid news. I'm your host, Ted Kabgoon, and today on Cryptidwatch... we've got reports on two new species of Cryptid appearing outta thin air! Seems like they got some sorta symbiotic relationship... seems like we're lookin' at spiders with hands and giant... bird things? Really we ain't too sure here, but we got something! Most of the reports we're getting are in Fiji, seems like a major pest problem too when it comes to those spiders.

Attempts have been made to reduce the population of 'em but they've come up with barely any reduction. Now folks, I'm not saying that all is lost in Fiji, but I'm just saying that if you want to go Cryptid hunting... well, there's the place to be. And to all my viewers in Fiji, stay safe out there! Looks like a problem akin to the great Emu war, ain't that fresh? 

If you've got your own reports on the matter, feel free to email us at [email protected] with your cryptid stories and information and make sure to comment down below how you think these things got here, we love seein' your theories and all that and it helps us with our own theories and thoughts on the matter. 

Anyways I've been your host, Ted Kabgoon, don't forget to like and subscribe to the channel and remember.

Stay Curious Cryptidwatchers!

BREAKING NEWS: President-Elect Donald Trump nominates Karyn Lee Abish as his pick for Attorney General

BREAKING NEWS

IN THE WAKE OF THE RECENT 24 MASS SHOOTINGS IN AMERICA THIS WEDNESDAY, PRESIDENT-ELECT DONALD TRUMP HAS CHOSEN TO NOMINATE KARYN LEE ABISH, CEO OF THE ABISH CORPORATION, AS HIS PICK FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL. SHE HAS PROMISED TO "ENSURE THAT ALL IMMIGRANTS FOUND GUILTY OF VIOLENT CRIMES FACE THE DEATH PENALTY" UNDER HER LEADERSHIP.

ODDLY ENOUGH THOUGH, ALL 24 SHOOTINGS WERE PERPETRATED BY KNOWN SONS OF SALEMS MEMBERS, LEADING TO CONFUSION ABOUT WHY SHE'D CHOOSE TO SAY SUCH A THING AT A TIME LIKE THIS. CURRENTLY, WE KNOW OF A MINIMUM OF 300 PEOPLE KILLED, WITH HUNDREDS MORE INJURED. THESE ATTACKS WERE COORDINATED, WITH MULTIPLE SHOOTERS WORKING TOGETHER TO ENSURE THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF DAMAGE IS DONE TO THE LOCAL COMMUNITY. 

ON HIS SHOW THIS MORNING, TED GUNDY STATED THAT THESE ATTACKS WERE AN "ATTEMPT BY THE DEEPSTATE TO DESTROY US".

IT IS A DARK DAY FOR AMERICA.

MORE TONIGHT AT 7.

Skeletons Spotted at Covenant House Shelter?

"...alright, sir. Thank you for your time."

"Of course, officer! So sorry we couldn't be of any more help."

Patrol Officer McKinney sighs and puts away his notepad.

After walking back to and getting in his patrol car, he rummages through the mess and finds his radio.

"This is PD-5, reporting in on the potential 10-66, Over." 

"10-4, PD-5. What've you found? Over."

"A whole lot of nothing. No one's saying anything about any sort of 'skeletons' or dead men, over."

"10-4, PD-5. Submit your report later today and proceed with regular patrols. Over and out."

The radio goes silent. McKinney stops for a moment and checks through his notes. Laughing dryly, he dismisses the call and considers it to be just another one of those paranoid cases.

Family Matters

The voice recorder crackles to life.

"Detective U. Dunnit, Audio Log 4. It has been 3 months and 13 days since I've started looking into Delphyrion after those complaints.

Delphyrion Arcanis. Strange guy. I can't quite put my finger on it but something tells me that they're up to something again. Honestly, I have no idea, looks like they purchased some beer.

Probably another one of their odd 'experiments.'

Still, I can't quite shake the feeling that they're up to something...

Looks like they're on the move. Time to-"

A muffled ringtone cuts him off. A sigh can be heard, presumably from U. Dunnit.

"...yes? Oh, hi there sweetie! Daddy's doing police work right now, so he can't- you need someone to pick you up from school?"

A few moments of silence pass.

"...ok pumpkin, I'll be there in a few minutes... I love you too!"

The sounds of an engine revving can be heard in the background.

"Detective U. Dunnit. Over and out."

End of Transmission.

Shape-Shifting Serial Killers Walk Among Us!?

A clip of a Sons-Of-Salem-adjacent podcast goes viral, being posted and reposted across several media-sharing websites:

"...And this just feeds into my point, that we need more regulation. Is it so anti-woke to ask people to submit to a simple examination to ensure they're truly human? In a time where your neighbor might wake up in a field covered in the gore of your family's dog, we have a right to be cautious. Four kids dead, and the person responsible for their safety, who was seen exhibiting supernatural abilities just gets to walk away? Where's the justice in that? If you've hired someone to protect you, you shouldn't need to worry that they don't know they're a threat to you. The only people with any reason to oppose these sorts of laws are those with something to hide..."

Rats have joined LimonCrafts?

LimonCrafts, a relatively new Twitch channel, has been gradually developing their brand as they continue working on their Bloodborne cosplay project. Recently they introduced three rats into their stream, by the names of SocRATes, Jacques, and Ratatouille. This has earned LimonCrafts a reputation of being a gentle giant among their followers. The streamer has made little outfits for them, respectively: a suit, a lion's mane, and antennae with wings. Viewers do point out that SocRATes' outfit looks a bit more worn than that of the others, though they have no plausible explanation for it yet. Twitch Chat points out that Ratatouille should be called Remy instead, but the streamer's response is that "they told me to call them that", which... is probably a joke, right?

Emerging Bloodborne Cosplayer!

A new Twitch channel, "LimonCrafts", showcases an unknown woman's journey of creating the Crowfeather set from Bloodborne, an Action RPG. Recently, she has been shown explaining her process as she decorates a crow-shaped gas mask, and Twitch Chat has developed its own personality that comes forth whenever she is onscreen. The streamer seems mildly confused at their chants, though she is mostly unfazed as she gives helpful tips on Lycanthropes.

Her small audience nowadays consists of people who take interest in Bloodborne, cosplay, and supernatural activity. The woman's real life identity is concealed, though viewers suspect she is quite wealthy, from brief glimpses of her residence on stream.

United States Presidential Election - In Favor Of A Dead Man?

A snippet of a news broadcast:

"Some very surprising news this Wednesday morning as the United States Presidential Election has counted its last ballots - and seen a decisive victory for former and future President Donald Trump. While it was believed he was assassinated not too long ago by what appeared to be a mouse, he has returned after his victory, issuing this statement:

'Yes, I know, it's all very surprising - well, I'm not surprised, are you surprised? But of course, there was that business with the rat... Horrible stuff, best to move past it.'

While the method of his return is unclear, people have speculated that whatever occurred was most certainly supernatural in nature - more to follow."

Smithsonian Android Goes Rogue - 3 Dead, 1 Injured

A piece on the recent break-in at the Smithsonian in Washington, DC:

"It's an absolutely awful day for roboticists, as the Smithsonian's HND-E Unit 231 appears to have gone rogue! The bot was reported to have had a few disappearances over the last few months, but it seems that something happened that was the last straw. HND-E Unit 231, affectionately nicknamed "Handy" by its handlers, killed two security guards at the Smithsonian last night with its bare hands, then fled the scene. It appeared to have a co-conspirator, perhaps someone who programmed it to do such awful things? The prognosis is unclear, as HND-E's CPU was not recovered. After fleeing the building, it was accosted by another pair of officers, and cameras show they managed to incapacitate HND-E - but then its conspirator appeared and set one of the guards alight with some form of fire magic. While investigation is ongoing, the surviving witness, one Alfred Grindel, had this to say after being rushed to the hospital:

'I've seen some stuff in my line of work. But that... That was terrifying. Bert was my friend, and... That... Person. Just killed them. Like it was nothing. I hope the police catch that bastard.'

Indeed, things are looking grim."

Private Donor Supporting The Arts?

A small bit of good news to be found reported across the US and Canada, with most of it coming from Michigan:

About 2 Million Donated To Various Galleries! Artists Grateful For Support

Public galleries have been seeing a surge of anonymous donations lately, and the art community is very thankful. As it is, most art galleries and museums that do not receive government funding rely heavily on donations to survive. Luckily, this seems to be a good month for artists everywhere as various galleries are reporting a total of almost 2 million dollars combined donated by an anonymous source.

[The article continues to explain how this is a win for the art community. It lists some of the galleries that have benefited, one of which is the Vancouver Art Gallery.]

The Detroit Art Market, an community-based gallery with a focus on supporting independent artists has responded for an interview. Head curator, Larkin Dupree, who's been running the gallery for 5 years now, has this to say: "I won't lie, the future of art has been worrying for a while. Art is something everyone should be free to pursue without financial worry, but I'm afraid that isn't the case these days. Donations like these help out so much more than you could imagine. We at the Detroit Art Market want to put dinner on the table for as many artists as possible, and share their amazing works for all to see. We will be putting this fund to supporting our next exhibit, which you can find at our website..."

[The interview continues with more information on their next exhibit.]

Big Ben burns down!

In London, on Wednesday afternoon, the Big Ben mysteriously burned down. The fire is said to have originated from the first floor, though eyewitnesses did not notice until smoke started billowing out of the narrow windows. Calls reported at least 2 deaths and several injured that were brought to the nearest hospital. The two bodies were charred beyond recognition upon recovery, though there is speculation as to who they might be. Police are working to find matching dental records for these bodies, and ask any potential family members or friends to contact them for information.

Eyewitnesses say infamous pyromaniac Kai Mitsuki and someone who suspiciously resembled notorious scammer Atsuhi Kaneko (introduced as "Martin") were the last people to have entered the clocktower under the excuse of a pizza delivery. Allegedly, Kai Mitsuki may be the culprit behind the fires, though there is no direct evidence linking them to the crime.

Today is a tragic day for England. The loss of a treasured monument will remain a traumatic scar in history, and officials are trying to propose new building plans for Big Ben, while some citizens are expressing their desire for the funds to go into better infrastructure instead. 

Donald Trump Finally Assassinated... By A Supernatural Mouse?

BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump's Death Confirmed, America Mourns.

Donald Trump, the former president of the United States of America has been confirmed dead after suffering severe injuries of a gunshot wound and harsh stabbing to his vitals. The circumstances of his death are mighty suspect, as a group of strange individuals were last seen chatting with him in Boise, Idaho where he was testing out a new golf course. Trump called the authorities for help, but they were too late, and when they got to him he had been eaten by a clearly supernatural mouse.

One individual is identified as a Jacob Cruz, and eyewitness reports nail him as an accomplice. Shaky camera footage recovered from the scene shows him shooting the president and exhibiting dark magic. The FBI has made no further statement on why he has not been taken in. Conspiracy theorists suspect a case of an evil clone.

This is a dark day for our fellow Americans.

BLAKKE And The Whyte Power Company merge into one via new Company Merger

News from the corpo-sphere, Popular furniture store BLAKKE and The Whyte Power Company are merging into one Electric and Furniture Store

2 Found Dead and 3 Missing

The Supernatural Walk Among Us?

At around 1:00 AM last night, a call came from a halloween house party that reported the deaths of at least 2 individuals. Upon investigation, the police were able to pin the murders on a Hezalea Solitreault, who, upon getting checked into the hospital, was found to have black, ichor-like blood.

They possessed an arrythmia, their blood pressure was abnormal, and their blood was found to be dangerous to the touch. They were promptly transferred to California State Prison while awaiting proper judgement.

As per the extradition treaty, there will be a Hearing held in Canada. However, local officials are arguing that the abnormal nature of the convict makes her an exception to the treaty, the main argument being that she is not a person, legally speaking.

There is much contention surrounding this issue and many people are wondering about whether she will be brought to justice.

News Orleans: Arson Attempt

News Orleans:
Apartment Building burned down in Arson. 4 Found dead.

Terrible news today in New Orleans, as a local Apartment and Handicraft store were burned down today in a potential act of arson. The Bodies inside were unrecognizably burned and scarred, two of which were missing their head and one that investigators say must've been "melted" by the intense heat. The current culprit of the fires is unknown, but one individual may have a clue as to who it was.

A Man by the name of Jeremiah Steltson called from New Jersey stating that he actually had a lead on who the mysterious arsonist might be. "I actually was on call with one of my friends who was in the fire," states Steltson. They said there was this 'Pyromaniac Twink' or something that came in, and then I later heard gunshots and screaming over the phone. I think someone screamed that they were melting, like the wicked witch of the west." The testimony lines up with some of the artifacts found at the crime scene, such as the seemingly random holes and the melted corpse.

Its unknown if this Arsonist will ever be found and brought to justice, or if he'll even strike again. Stay weary New Orleans, if you see something, say something. 

Deborah Miller on News Orleans, signing off.

Venice Under Siege!

A snippet of a news report:

"For the last several weeks, Venice, Italy has been harassed by creatures that are being referred to as 'Arachnis Undae'. The beings appear to be ordinary Huntsman spiders, but posess human faces. They possess a powerful venom, hunt in packs, and have proven themselves to be amphibious, building webs and leaving their eggs underwater. They have shown themselves to be immensely defensive of their young, and officials are warning citizens to remain as far from the canals - where most of the nests appear to be - as possible. International travellers are warned to stay away from Venice, and the city has gone into lockdown until a method of dealing with the threat can be determined."

Chloe Suzuki Kills Boyfriend, Claims 'Oni' Did It

CBC News' latest headline, "Chloe Suzuki Kills Boyfriend, Claims 'Oni' Did It", as it appears on TV:

"Thank you for joining us, we have breaking news tonight. A case of couples violence results in one Chloe Suzuki put behind bars for the murder of her boyfriend, Jeremiah Graham. Police have deduced that she bludgeoned him to death with an aluminum bat right as he was about to leave his house, though they lack a confession. She is claiming that the two of them were attacked by an Oni, a type of mythological creature from Japan. There were no witnesses to collaborate her statement, and in the end, all the evidence pointed to her."

"Jeremiah Graham was a beloved member of his community..."

The news clip dives into Jeremiah and Chloe's past and statements from their families and the police, ending in a question directed to the audience: "In these uncertain times of fact or fiction, who is responsible for bringing the truth to light?"

Scrap-bot seen playing Stradivarius!

An Instagram account named "Vi-O-Linner" shows footage of what appears to be a hand-made robot, vaguely humanoid from the waist-up and decorated in colourful paint with a custom suit as well as some stickers. LEDs light up its eyes, and it has a distinctly scrappy feel. It can be seen playing various songs on what appears to be a genuine Stradivarius, although it is hard to confirm. Recently, it even played a song titled "A Robot's Rhapsody" that is posted on music streaming platform's under its own name. Whether it be the robot itself, or its creator, the account frequently engages with comments on its posts and has gained a small but steady following. No name is attached to the account, though most speculate the page is run by a regular person.

100% Oak Handcrafted Wizard Wand (Made from an Old Environmentally Sourced Tree)

A link on Facebook Marketplace:

Facebook Marketplace

Marketplace > Hobby > Arts > Cosplay

Listed 6 days ago in Vancouver, BC, Canada

Details:

Condition: Used - Good

Length: 18cm

Material: Oak

Price: $1250 $1000

Description:

Hi! I’m a massive potterhead so I handcrafted this wand! 🧙‍♀️🪄 I recently cut down a centuries old tree on my family’s property and had some leftover wood to make this wand…

Handmade Harry Potter wand, 100% oak, all natural, environmentally sourced from a centuries old tree within my family’s property, extremely prized.

Does NOT do magic 🙄, I cannot believe I actually have to say that. Is just a handcrafted prop.

Free shipping… I can negotiate the price. Message me through here if you’re interested!

It is marked as sold.

Rainfall Increases in the Pacific Northwest!

A fragment of a radio report:

"Greetings. I'm Joe Cummings, with CBC - The World This Hour. Rainfall has increased in British Columbia, and to the South, in Washington state and Oregon. The volume and frequency have both increased in the past week, with experts having no clue as to the reason. Many flood-risk areas are on high alert..."

The report is repeated several times over the course of the next few days, but no information is forthcoming as to the source of the increased precipitation. Experts weighing in debate the authenticity of claims that the origination may be Alien in nature.