Minerva McAlaster's Questionnaire

1. What town or city do you live in? Why do you live there instead of anywhere else? Describe your home.

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Minerva sits in her seat, looking vaguely uncomfortable.  This felt a lot like an interrogation!  But she had to do it. 

Didn't she?

"Umm.. well, I live in New England right now.  In Massachusetts.  It's nice!  I... kinda felt like I got exiled here to begin with - some stuff happened, and it wasn't very fun - but it wasn't been so bad, really.  I've only been here about five months, but I like it here.  Everyone else here is special, like I am, and I get to be myself.  I'm a lot happier being myself.   I had to stay here to start, but even when I get the option to leave I think I'm going to stay  I've made a lot of friends.  I wasn't good at making friends before.  Well.  I was, but it was sort of an act, and I got frustrated maintaining it sometimes, and I'd let them know, and that was it."

"Oh, describe it?  It's like some... big estate in the forest somewhere.  It's just us and the staff, no neighbors.  We sleep in dorms, and there's three other girls in my room.  It took a lot to get used to sleeping with other people in the room, but... I kinda like it now.  They're all really nice.   I have a lot of stuff around my room, and my plushies, and..."  She shakes her head, trailing off. 

There's a pause.  "Who are you, anyways?"

 

2. How do you get your money right now? What do you spend it on?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

"Well... it's mostly my allowance.  I have some credit cards that my parents pay off - well, they're probably on autopay or something - every month.  I don't really make any money otherwise. I think I probably could, but...."  Maybe she could.  Maybe she should.

"I used to have a lot bigger limit, but at the same time I got exiled to the school I got them restricted.  But I've been a good girl, and I've been talking with my parents and the principal and my parents have raised the limit and I think they'll do it again and I can back to where I was before.  Sorta annoying, though, but... I guess I can understand.  I guess."

"What do I spend it on?  Uhh.... not much, really. Everything at the school's paid for, and we're in the middle of nowhere, so there's not much to spend it on otherwise.  When I go.. um, out, I typically get like, good plane tickets and stuff.  It's nice just being able to buy stuff."

Minerva curls her tail around her hips, starting to pet it absentmindedly.  "It's.... just one of those better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it things, right?  I tried to use it earlier, but that's what kinda kicked off my exile, which..."  The small foxgirl trails off again.

3. Describe your Ambition. What are you striving for? How far would you go to achieve this? Would you kill for it? How close to death would you come for it?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

"..."

There's a pause.

"I don't know.  I guess....  it sounds silly now, sorta.  But when I started this, I was... super depressed.  Nothing made me happy, except in little flares that ended in minutes."  She looks to the side. "I guess I started doing this because they promised a change and I didn't care if I died trying for it.  Then it became... trying to transform self into more, and now it's just... once I've realized I can change the world, I want to be able to change everything.  My double said I wanted to play second fiddle to god.  No, I want to play first.

"How far would I go? Uhh... as far as it takes, I guess?  Would I kill for it?"

There's another long pause. 

"I hope I won't have to.  I... haven't had to yet.  Would I?"

Minerva stares at the interviewer.  It was weird, she couldn't actually make out what they looked like.   Some part of her says she should be much more alarmed by this than she seems to be, but she wasn't.  It was okay.  She trusted them.

"Maybe.  I feel like a good person should say no."

"Maybe I'm not a good person.  I think I was ready to earlier.  But I didn't end up having to.  I think."

"How close to death?  Empirically speaking, pretty close.  The first contract nearly killed me.  Dumb idea to go back onto another one.  But I did.  And they got easier.   But.. I''m willing to risk everything for it."

4. What was the most defining event of your life (before signing The Contract), and how did it change you?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I didn't have a ton of events, really.  I had a really controlled life before signing the contract. I don't quite know.  Maybe meeting Samantha and having her pull me into her community?  It kept me going for a bit before I started doing this.  Or maybe it was that one night with my parents where I... think I finally kinda broke the relationship.  I was unhappy - I was always unhappy - but I was also clever.  Not a great combination.  I was acidic and mean and even though I was their daughter I can see why they pulled away.  I knew what to say to be really mean.   I'm... trying to be better now.

I think my parents have difficulty believing it, sometimes.  But I'm happy now, and it's a lot easier to... not be mean.

5. Name and briefly describe three people in your life. One must be the person you are closest to.

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Well.... three people in my life.  It feels weird saying it. 

Well, number one is probably Samantha.   She's an online friend, and I still spend a lot of time with her.  Although I've met her a couple of times in person!  She's nice, and... well, we've recovered from when she stole a magic ritual from someone and we used it together and it summoned some angry snake that cursed me and maybe sorta set this whole thing off.  But she's super important to me.

Number two is Principal Wolstenholme.  She's the principal of the school I'm at, and... I don't knoww.  She knows a lot, and she's always so..... I don't want to say nice, although she is nice. She just like, knows everything.  I think she's magical somehow.  She's why I'm at the school.

Number three are my roommates!  Karigan and Maria.   They're both really nice, and I've gotten to know them both pretty well.

Number four is Maron.  She took way more abuse than she ever deserved from me.  And she still never held it against me.   She raised me in a lot of ways. And she's a good person.

Number five are my parents. It... feels weird to put them so far down the list.  But that's mostly my fault.  I feel bad for it.  I'm sorry.  

Number - Oh, just three.  Sorry. 

6. How was your childhood? Who were your parents? What were they like? Did you attend school? If so, did you fit in? If not, why not?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I don't know.  My childhood is... did it end when I signed up for these jobs?  Did it ever start?  I've been trying to pretend to be an adult for as long as I can remember.

Or is it still going?

I don't know.

My parents did their best. I was defective, I was broken.  I am... better, now?  Kinda. But they were both good people. They tried.  But eventually they pulled away, and I can't blame them, intellectually.  That doesn't really help with the emotional side of it, but... part of being an adult is dealing with things intellectually instead of emotionally, right?  They're both clever and smart and determined...

I went to private school for a while before getting homeschooled.  I could understand the social interactions, and I could replicate them, but... it would be exhausting, and eventually I would want them to just go away, and... I knew what to say to hurt people.

So I did.

I'm better now, at least. I can tolerate short bursts of being in my old form, pretend to be normal.

And when I'm in my real form, I'm happy.  Talking to people, going to class... isn't some big chore anymore. 

It's nice.

7. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Ummm... that's kinda a weird question, mister...

But... I don't think so?  I don't think I've loved anyone.

Last year when I was in school, there was this boy who... I don't know.  Liked me?  At least he gave me a lot of attention.  I don't know.  On one paw, attention is sorta nice, on the other hand, I... it made me sorta uncomfortable.  And when I didn't want to spend more time with him he pulled my hair and was mean to me.

So I hit him and I was kinda vicious with what I said.  He didn't speak to me the rest of the year until I got pulled out of school.

Or... uh, I don't know.  I love my parents?  Even if I'm really not good at showing it to them sometimes.  I tried to be a good girl but it was exhausting.  But now that I'm normal and not everything is so tiring I'm trying to be better talking with them.

8. What are your worst fears? Why?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I don't know, mister.  I guess... going back to what I was before, mainly.  When the world was gray and cold.  When nothing made me happy at all.  Nothing can make me go back to that. I'll die before I go back to that.  So yeah. That's my biggest fear.  And... when I got stuck in a nightmare world, it was... well, being in a school where I was given pills that made it go back to where I was before.  And it was terrible.

I fear hurting the people close to me, too.  Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm going to die out there and I'm more concerned about hurting people back home.  That my parents are going to have to deal with me dying, and Principal Wolstenholme having to deal with another one of special children dying under her watch, as it were.  It's silly. I really should be afraid of dying more.

And... well, dying.  But I think I fear the first two more. But every time I go out I'm afraid of dying.  But I'm more afraid of being normal.  And... things just keep happening that mean I need to be stronger. So I keep doing it.  And.. well, I haven't died yet.

9. What is (are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it (them) so special?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I don't know.  It feels super dumb, but... uh... it's this stupid little badge thing that Samantha drew for me.  It's... a badge of myself as a furry, and it was done before I could transform.  So.. I kinda think that my transformation looks like the badge, instead of the other way around.  I always keep it on me,  even when I'm in danger.  And the one time I nearly lost it, I... I actually spoke up to this like, super powerful scary vampire lady to give it back.  And... well, honestly, she gave it back.  She wasn't *super* pissed at me, I guess.  She murdered the person who started the fight, though.

Other than that?  Maybe my pendant.  I use it as a crutch in a lot of ways, and.. it's been with me forever.  I can feel my abilities flow though it, and as long as I have it I'm stronger.  I really should learn to not depend on it so much,  but it's easy..

10. What is the biggest problem in your life right now?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Umm... the biggest problem in my life? Probably the fact that my double was kidnapped, but then actually turned out to have escaped and took over the group that kidnapped her. And I'm not sure if she needs to be rescued still- apparently she took over it by swapping bodies with the leader, but there's something wrong with the leader's body that makes them insane or something? So we'll see on that front. But uh... she used nerve gas. In a neighborhood.

Other than that? I need to deal with the estate of a friend who died because I couldn't save them. I need to hold a funeral too.  It wasn't that long ago, but.. it feels like everything's been so busy. 

Outside of the weird stuff?  Probably talking with my parents to get my credit cards back, and - related - my school work.  It's... kind of jarring, going from a classroom to nearly dying for a day then back to it every couple of weeks.  Worth it, though.

11. Describe a typical morning. How do you get ready to face the world?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Well... I typically wake up to one of my roommates making a bunch of noise in the morning, because one of them is super energetic.  But that's okay, they're good enough at not doing it before it's too early to wake up.  Although I did have to hit them with a snowball once in the morning when it was like 5 am.  It was pretty funny to see her just freeze, surprised at where I got a snowball. 

But yeah.  After that, getting up, brushing my fur, waiting for the other two to finish a shower, having a shower, going down for breakfast in the cafeteria.  Breakfast is always something different (but they're pretty good at accommodating for people who don't like certain things.  Like, no onions or peppers!  Although caramelized onions are okay. But no peppers!  Verboten!)

Then a little bit of free time, then classes.  And classes aren't too bad.  I have a lot of friends, and they're all okay with me being fuzzy.  We're all kind of different.

And that's okay. 

12. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Well... I guess I'd go somewhere private and just... transform.  It's been getting really difficult and tiring lately, but I can recover in about an hour.  So... it would take me about an hour to get ready!  But what would I wear?  Well.. I guess it depends on what kind of an event it was!  But... if it was like a really fancy event...

Okay.  I know I hated the dress my mom stuck me in for those events, but... it's different now.  As long as I'm in my proper form, it's.. it's nice, dressing up.  So I'd make it a big, flowing dress. That's brightly coloured! And such.  But no hat.  Hats feel weird on my ears.

Or... well, if it was a different kind of event, somewhere that didn't accept kids, I'd transform into an adult first, too.  But that feels weird in some way.  People start to act strange towards me sometimes. 

13. What will you do for your next birthday?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I... honestly haven't thought a ton about it, honestly.  I'm going on these jobs about every two weeks - sometimes even less - and it's... exhausting, really.  But uh... at the rate I'm going, I'll have done about twenty five of them when I get to my birthday.  Maybe I'll take a break at that point.  I'll be strong enough then, right?

But yeah.  Just... relaxing sounds like a great plan for my next birthday.  Maybe inviting Samantha over, inviting some friends, and just.. being normal for a day.

Well.  Sorta normal.  Most people aren't anthropomorphic foxes.  More people should be. It's great.

Or....  Maybe if I go on a contract for my birthday there will be cake at the end.  Magical cake.  I'd like a magical cake.

I think I'd like to just have a long nap without anything to worry about a bit more.  Maybe I'll sleep for a week.

14. What is your greatest regret?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Not saving Izzy.  I wasn't even there when she died.  I was trapped in some stupid police station because I froze up and I couldn't make my powers work while I was transformed and... and yeah.  I didn't even know it happened until after.  And... I just wish I'd been there.   I've been trying to be better about not letting people split up, about trying to keep the other people on these stupid jobs safe.  It's hard sometimes. But I'm trying.

I still regret it, and still think about it some, even if everything has been so frantic over the last week.  I understand it gets easier, but... I don't know. Maybe I should talk to someone about it, but who could I talk to?  It's not like anyone could understand what's going on to me.  Maybe Lanie, but... Better to just bottle it up inside until I can take a break and process it. 

That'll be soon, right?

15. What is the nature of your Gifts? Are they inherent potential? Do harbingers just grant your wishes?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I... don't really know, fully.  I just.. I want things to change, and the change.  So... I guess it's... I guess it's inherent?  Maybe?  I don't think it's the harbingers granting my wishes.  I can't really explain it, it's just... I don't know.  I feel like it's just something inside of me.  Could it be something the harbingers are putting in there?  Does that mean it's not really me? 

I don't really want to think that much on that train of thought. 

It's important that it's me. And.. I don't know.  I practice, and I get stronger.  And I've started to explore the Dreamlands, too.  I can enter them, I can map them, I can control them, to an extent.  Maybe my powers are coming from there.  I'm starting to be able to influence the waking world just like I can the Dreamlands. 

Maybe one day I'll be able to bend the waking world just as much.

16. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Umm... well, I guess I've never really thought that much about it, honestly.   My parents have never taken me to church, and... I don't know.  They're not really religious, so... I guess I'm not really religious?  It's... I don't know.  I've seen a lot of of stuff, and... I mean, I can't rule out more powerful beings?  But.. the thought of one being at the beginning kind of making everything?  That sounds weird, but maybe?  Maybe it was a Dreamlander, who dreamed the universe into existence.

But uh, like, the afterlife?  I... don't know.  It's weird.  I guess I can believe it?  I'm... I don't know.  I already feel like I'm half thought.  I look like what I want to look like, and... well, I've seen my science textbooks and stuff.  What I can do can't be explained by them, and... well, if someone dies, does it mean they die in the Dreamlands too?  I don't know.

I don't think so.

17. How do the events of the Contracts conflict with your worldview? How do you react when everything you thought was true is put in doubt?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Well... I dunno.  I grew up with magic in the world, so.. it's not like magic was something new.  Magic's always been a thing.  I.. don't know what else really puts things into conflict?   There's just a bunch of really powerful creatures that are willing to give us magic in exchange for... I dunno.  Playing their games?  It's not like taking a bird so it can be made into chicken and waffles was important in any way, but.. people died during that.

But that's nothing new.  Really powerful creatures can be evil just like people can be evil.

I don't know if there's really been anything else that I really knew was true and it's been untrue.  It's not like the world is flat or anything.  Maybe the closest thing was that I had an evil clone made of me, but... I dunno.  It's not like I strongly believed there wasn't a way to have evil clones.

I guess I sorta have a world view that we shouldn't try to kill people?  But I haven't had that in conflict yet...

18. Give a brief description of the other Contractors you see often. What do you like or dislike about them?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

Well... I haven't seen a lot of contractors on jobs recently.  The one I knew the best was Izzy, but... she... died... like.. two weeks ago.  I need to deal with her estate - I guess she knew me best, and.. she left everything to me, but... I haven't had a chance.  It's just been busy.

Outside of jobs?

Well.... I guess Lanie, right now! She's really helpful, and I'm really lucky that she reached out to me.  She's... uh, she's a dog.  But a psychic dog!  She used to be a person, and she's a contractor, and... I guess she's sorta like me in that she realized being a human sucked.  I sorta like opposable thumbs, though.  Would recommend.  But she can move things with her mind, so I guess that works.  She's all white and fluffy and soft.

I don't know if Mars counts - she's sorta a contractor? because she was my double.  She looked like me!  But then she swapped bodies into some edgy girl's body to escape captivity.  I'd like to talk with her more.

And then.. Albert?  He's weird.  He keeps saying weird things, and... Lanie keeps interrupting him when he says things!  It feels kinda rude sometimes?

19. Describe the perfect room.

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

The... perfect room?  That's kind of a weird question.  I guess I've never really thought of it that much.

Well... it would have to be big!  Really big.  Not like, big enough to have its own weather system, but tall ceilings, and far walls.  And a big, plush bed in the center.  And it would have to have a really good climate control system, it should be really cold at night and warm and dry during the day.

And maybe a grand window overlooking the Dreamscape.  So I can see the mountains and the metallic ocean in the distance.

And some of my court just hanging around the room and sitting there to talk to.

Maybe it's always brightly lit inside with dappled golden light (except for night time) and there's always a cool breeze.

And maybe golden flowers everywhere.  Maybe a water feature.  Or two! 

But I'd like to have a place that I can go flying over the metallic seas.

20. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

I'm really good at talking to people!  Even when I didn't (and still don't, sometimes) like doing it,  I was still really good at it.  And I'm getting better at it still.  It's like.. I don't know.  I feel like I can convince anyone of anything... more than anyone.  I can convince reality of anything.  I can trick reality into thinking I have a cup of chocolate milk in my hand.  And.. it believes me, and I do.  It's nice.

And.. I don't know, do I really have to have a philosophy about that?  What's that even mean?  Do I feel a responsibility to like.. use my abilities for good or something?  Nah, not really.   That's something from comic books.  I think I'm a good person, but..  I don't really think I need to go out of my way to use what I'm good at for other people.  Although I do want to help people.  I dunno. 

I'm good at a lot of things, though....

21. What do your Limits say about you? What would it take to make you break them?

Link Answered after Contract 11, 83.5 the Wave

That I had a pretty normal upbringing, I guess?  I've never really thought of 'limits', but.. I mean, I don't know.  I don't want to kill anyone, I don't want to be tortured, I don't want to see anyone tortured, I don't want to almost die?  Isn't that what most people are like?  I think so.  But... yeah.

What would it mean to break them?  Ummm.... I... really don't want to.  Obviously.  The only time I ever thought about it was... when I wasn't sure if my double was really evil.  And was going to kill people close to me, and that there was no way to stop her peacefully.  I... thought about it then.  But there was a way to do it peacefully, so... yeah.  I don't think there's any case that I need to break my limits so far.

Well.  Except for the last one.  I sorta think I break that a bit every time I go on one of these jobs, but.... well, sometimes one needs to.  I was willing to do it at the beginning because it was better than the alternative.

22. Create a 7-song “soundtrack” that represents you. Include a brief explanation of why each song represents you.

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

Seven songs...

  1. YonKaGar - It's Normal
    Don't concern yourself with my unhappiness, 'cause I'm sure it's normal.
    Minerva exists.  Existence is normal.
  2. Fathomless Tomb
    ...
    The world has forever changed for Minerva.  Her eyes have been opened to more, to an endless expanse of possibility of which no words can describe.  In this expanse of possibility lurks horrors beyond man's comprehension, but she will charge in regardless.

    For there is no other choice.  The mere knowledge of alternatives has burned the ships behind her. 
  3. TWRP - Starlight Brigade
    I hear a voice in the back of my head, saying this is suicide.  Did you hear what I said?
    Minerva, with a team of other misfits unique individuals risk everything to do what needs to be done against the darkness, and free themselves.
  4. Dreaming of Me
    On the brink of a mental collapse, afflicted with dissonant madness
    Minerva throws herself into the Dreamlands, with the trauma that comes along with it.  The Dreamlands, full of wonders, is a an awesome place, a terrific one.
    In the traditional meanings.
  5. Living Proof
    Living proof that the strength you will need Has been in you forever but to get it, you’ll bleed
    Minerva pulls herself together and gets on her feet.  A driving song, pulling one's self out of the darkness with the strength that she needs. It was always inside of her, but she'll bleed to access it.
  6. Ivycomb - ANTIHUMAN
    A billion options, and I'll choose one that speaks to me.
    Minerva changes her reality, and chooses what she chooses.  Her new eyes open.
     
  7. Nightcore - Don't Stop
    I'm a superman and it's my show!
    Minerva exists.   In her new form her emotions are resplendent, and her energy is limitless.  The entire world has became a game to her, and there is always a next thing to do.  And for once, she actually looks forward to it.

23. How will your Ambition evolve as you gain power? Will you eventually retire? Will you keep going to the inevitable end?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

"Welll... I don't know.  My ambition has already kinda evolved some as I realized more.  And.. I don't know.  Maybe it's become more selfish?  But once I play first fiddle, it'll be better. Everything will be better."

There's a pause.

"Eventually retire? Uhh.. maybe?  Probably? I mean, once I get powerful enough I'll retire, because I'll be done. Right? Although.. I don't know.  How powerful are the creatures that give us these jobs?  That demonstrate such.. abilities?  I want to be that powerful.  Once I'm like that, I'll retire."

"Maybe."

There's another pause.

"Retire is probably a bad word, as I think it means that I'll stop working.  Which.. I don't think is quite right.  Now.  I'll just change what I'm doing.  And that's what I'll do.  I'll make the world a better place. And once I'm powerful enough, I'll be able to.  That makes sense, right?"

"Yeah.  I think it does..."

24. What kind of things can make you angry? Why?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

Wellllll.... I don't tend to get angry a lot, really! I'm pretty good at keeping my cool!  When I get into a situation when it's really frustrating, I tend to withdraw from a situation like that and just become sullen.  Whichhhh.... okay, maybe that's not the most healthy option, but I think it's a lot more healthy than a lot of other ways of dealing with it!

But.. I guess I'm kinda digressing!  I don't know.  I guess there's an expectation that girls shouldn't get angry, so.. I don't.  Or at least I try.  Okay.  Still digressing. Fineeee.

Okay.  What makes me angry?  Having my tail stepped on!  And... I dunno.I'm typically pretty bubbly!

Or.. do you mean more so before, maybe?

I.... a lot of things used to make me angry, I guess.  People existing made me angry.  Having to talk with people made me angry, having to exist myself made me angry.  I said things to hurt people a lot, and it didn't make me feel better, but.. I don't know.  I don't know why I said them given it didn't really make me feel better. Or maybe it did a little.  That sounds kinda bad, doesn't it?  But.. I don't know.  I'd do that, and then retreat into my room and try to bite my cheek and put on my little uniform and try to be mature and adult and not have any emotions and it didn't typically work and sometimes it just made me angrier.

Listening to music helped sometimes for a little bit.  I... think doing dumb things helped more.  Dopamine, right?  Being impulsive made me feel good.  But I also knew intellectually that I'd destroy myself really quickly if I gave into it.  So I did my best to be adult and resist it.

Mostly worked.  Sometimes.

But I'm not like that anymore. 

Normally.

 

25. What do you try hardest to keep secret?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

Hmm...

Wellllll.....

I had a lot of secrets at one point, but then I kinda got cursed by an evil snake, and I ended up saying all of it to some random person, and... I dunno. Maybe it's freeing in a way?  It did wind up with me being in the back of a police car.. but I guess they really only just brought me home.  And then I sorta got exiled.  Buttt... I mean, I think it's probably been best for my life, really.  Saying it's exiled is too harsh.  I got sent to a school for magical children.

So.. it's not like I really hide that I'm a magical girl from most people.  Or that I'm a fox person!  I spend most of my time like that.  I don't really know if I have a lot of secrets at this point right now.  I try not to lie to people!  It's a lot easier that way.

I can't think of a lot of things that I keep secret right now.  Besides... maybe like my phone password and stuff?  Does that count?

 

26. If you made it all the way to Harbinger, what name would you go by? What sort of Contracts would you run?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

Made it all the way to Harbinger?  Is that... what's at the end of this? 

I guess that makes sense.  They... are kind of at the top, aren't they?

Are they?

I don't know.

But.. a name!  I don't know.  How about 'The little fox'?  That sounds cute!  Most of them kind of have silly names, I think.  Some of the Harbingers that I've met have been kinda... edgy?, but that's not what I'm looking for.  And also my name would be... understated.  I like understated things like that!   

As for what kind of Contracts I'd run... I dunno.  It's weird. It feels like the jobs I've been sent on have been this weird mix of dumb games and.. sorta important jobs?  I dunno. 

And then there was the last one, which was just horrifying.

I guess I'd do ones that were important!  ...but what if I picked bad people to do it?  Is that one they said us on the games first?

Probably ones with furries, though. 

27. A Contractor you’ve worked with multiple times doesn’t survive a Contract you’re on. Do you set up a memorial? Loot the body? Try to bring them back?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

...

I don't like this question.

Can I not answer it?

...

I'm sorry, Izzy.

I... I've been meaning to set up a memorial.  But it... it just happened a couple of weeks ago and it feels like everything has still been happening so much and I just haven't had a chance.  It's been

I didn't - I wouldn't just loot the body! 

I... maybe?  I don't know...  The living need it more than the dead, though, but.. I wouldn't call it looting!

Umm.. I've been... I've been thinking on how to bring them back.  But it's hard.  I tried to do it, but it... didn't work.  Reality bent just a little bit, but not enough. It was still just an illusion.  I've been trying to realize them more, but.. it doesn't work.  And it's tiring.

But maybe I can do it one day.  I can bring them back.  I'm getting stronger. 

Every time I go out, I get stronger.

28. Contracts often have a complicated relationship with local law enforcement. How do you cover your tracks?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

Well...

I mean, my first instinct is that the police should be helpful!  The only time I really have interacted with them was when they took me home after that... incident... where I messed up and tried to control someone and it.. just didn't work.  But they just put me in the back of the car and took me back, so.. that wasn't that bad.  But I can see how it could be problematic in times.. so I try to avoid that. 

And I avoid that by transforming!  When I go onto a mission, I tend to disguise myself as someone new, like... normally just an older girl, and I just kinda... be someone else.  And it's unpleasant, but.. it's pretty deep.  I think everything about me changes, even like.. my DNA.  So that works!  And I can teleport and that helps a lot at dodging people too.  So that works out!

29. A teammate breaks the law in a gruesome fashion. Do you report them to the authorities? If not, what do you do?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

I... maybe?

What do you mean gruesome fashion?  Like... murdering someone?  Maybe?  It... depends.

I guess it depends a lot on what they did and why.  Like... if they murdered someone just to murder someone?  Probably? But... I mean, only if I could prove it in some way, I guess. Because I don't know if I know enough to actually have the authorities help in a lot of cases.  Like, what would I say?  Some sociopathic crazy magical guy murdered someone?    I don't know if that would do anything normally.  

So.. would I do something else to stop them?  I... wanna think that I would.  But.. if I'm being honest... my teammates have abilities too.  And someone crazy enough to just murder someone is... scary.  Does that make me a bad person?   Like.. if I have the ability to maybe stop them and I don't?  Because... why?  It's scary, they might hurt me too?

I dunno. I guess I'd tell on them to the other contractors I know, and maybe we'd all do something.  Trying to do something alone is a bad idea, I think. 

30. A harbinger asks you to do something repugnant for a Contract. Do you refuse? Where do you draw the line?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

I... think so.  I think I refuse.  At least, I tell myself I would.  But.. I think I would.  I go on these missions every two weeks, so... it's like if the Harbinger wants me to murder someone defenseless,  I could.. I could just say no, and do another one in two weeks.  That's better than doing something terrible, isn't it?  Because I mean... it's like... you have to live with what you've done.   I'm... I want to say I wouldn't, but.. I don't know if I'd do something terrible to survive.  I hope I never am in that situation.

Where do I draw the line?  Umm.. I guess probably at murdering someone?  Or torturing someone...  It's like.. It's one of those things where I'll know it when I see it. I know if it's hurting someone that doesn't deserve it then it's something that I don't want to do. 

31. Does any specific Harbinger stick out to you as a favorite or most hated? Why is that?

Link Answered after Contract 13, Sin Eater

...No, not really, I guess?  None of them really stand out in my mind, honestly.  Except for maybe the one who sent me on the one where my hand got turned into glass.. that one kinda sucked, and she rubbed salt in the wound afterwards.  That was just rude, and mean!  But other than that,  none of them stick out in my mind.  The last one I can really think of is The Adversary, but just because I just had a job from them and it was insane.  Like, that job was literally insane.  We were protecting someone evil (bad) but I guess so they could turn into some kind of monster that ate evil people (good?)   And a bunch of weird stuff happened.  Almost biblical.  Which is weird.

I can't even really think of any of their names, other than that.  The one who demonstrated that he could have just did what he sent us to do at any point was kinda underwhelming, but... I don't even remember his name.

32. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you intend to "settle the score" if that’s your goal.

Link Answered after Contract 14, Beware the Assassin!

Well... I haven't really made any enemies, I think.  Maybe just Sarah, but... I haven't seen her again,  and I dunno.  I don't even know if she considers me an enemy.  She won last time.  I'm ready now though if something happens this time.  I don't really have any other vendettas... unless you count Mars.

I don't really know if she considers me an enemy, and I don't know if I consider her an enemy?  It's... complicated.  I'm still trying to make peace with her, but she's... I dunno.  She's like my opposite.  But can we make peace?  Maybe?  I'm kinda reasoned into my position.  I can't understand a reasoning for her, though.. so can I reason her out of it?  Maybe?  It remains to be seen.  I'm going to go talk to her with some of my friends shortly, and.. we're going to make peace.  I really hope so.  And we can go back to normal - I've been chasing her around (first trying to save her after she was kidnapped!  It's kind of a long story.  Or maybe not too long - she's my duplicate, but like... a half-photo negative version?  Or not really, it's just her intent that's reversed.  She was still a copy of me physically and stuff.  But we both ended up in a jail cell together.  And we talked some - she seemed nice enough?  But then someone came and said they were from the school and took her and then the real person from the school showed up!  And then someone contacted me and she's been helping me track Mars down, and it turns out Mars actually took over the group that kidnapped her.  But she didn't let me know, and... I don't know, she might be planning to do bad things?  So that's why I'm going to go see her, and hopefully make peace with her.

Or stop her.

33. Your time is up. Any last words or final requests?

Link Answered after Contract 14, Beware the Assassin!

Um... I'd... really rather my time not be up?  I'd probably rather be using my last efforts to save myself, as it were.  I can't really think of a situation where I couldn't do *something*.   But... if I was?  I dunno...  I already asked the principal to give my journal to my parents.  Is this the part in the movie where you use your last breath to spit at whatever killed you?  Burn me to ash and I'll clog the lungs of whatever did it.

That all sounds nice in a movie, but... I dunno.  If I'm honest, probably begging for my life?  I guess it depends how it happened, right?  I can't think of any real final requests.  I don't know if something can really kill me.  Worst case scenario I can probably always flee into the Dreamlands.  I think.

I don't really like thinking about this.  Can we talk about something else?

34. You are undertaking a Contract that involves navigating through a city with which you are unfamiliar for several days. What preparations do you make?

Link Answered after Contract 15, March of Dimes

Well... I guess it depends on where the city is!  If it's just like, a city in the West... probably just download the google maps for that city to my phone and then, I don't know, book a hotel there?  Maybe a guide depending on what we're going to be doing...

If it's somewhere like, in another culture?  I guess I'd download the maps, and probably a language pack for my phone.  And research the culture some!  I'm pretty good at googling stuff, so... I don't know. Research kind of the threats in the area, other things that stand out.  I could try and even explore the area in the Dreamscape, but I'm still trying to practice that. I don't quite have the hang of it yet.  But I can feel it there, on the tip of my tongue.

If the place is really one of the weird ones, I might disguise myself to look like a native. 

35. You learn you must arrive in the city using mundane travel methods. In addition, you discover that this country does not allow personal firearms. How do you get there? What do you bring with you? What precautions do you take to ensure that you and your equipment make it there in one piece?

Link Answered after Contract 15, March of Dimes

Umm... probably just buy a plane ticket?  If it's a city, it probably has an airport somewhere nearby.  And that's okay, I don't use a gun anyways.   I'd probably fly first class, like normal.   And uh... I guess I'd take all my normal stuff?   I don't really tend to take a lot of precautions like that... it's mostly just stuff, I can always get new stuff.  The really important stuff to me I keep on me.  Although I guess now if I had something that I was worried about losing or something I can stuff it into the Dreamlands and then pull it out later, even if it's a bit difficult. 

This kinda sounds like that one time I had to go to Syria.  It was... a little touch and go in places!  But apparently people in places like that are willing to do a lot of stuff for money.. even look the other way at borders and stuff.  So that's an option for those kinds of places...

36. Your travel to a Contract is complicated in some manner (plane is forced to land for weather, car breaks down) and you aren’t sure you’ll be able to make it. What is your solution?

Link Answered after Contract 16, Slaughterhouse Five

Well... probably try to talk my way into another way there?   I'm really good at talking to people, and if we're forced to land, then.. I mean, there's going to be other flights and such, right?   I'd probably just try to talk my way onto another flight.  Or if I really need to I can probably blink onto one of them ,or such.  Worst-case scenario, I... mean, I guess I don't make it?    It's not super important I go on them every two weeks, is it?  I think they can I can turn them down, so.. if I turn one down because I don't get there in time, okay? I don't think two weeks will change that much, one way or the other.  Right?

So yeah. Do my best to talk my way into there!  And if I can't, just... wait two weeks, right?  What else would I do?  I don't have any abilities to travel long distances....

37. While traveling through a city on a Contract, someone who seems mundane attempts to mug you. What do you do?

Link Answered after Contract 17, Shadows Under Redwoods

Umm... probably try to talk them out of it, I guess?  I'm pretty convincing, and... I mean, why would someone try to mug me?  I never look that wealthy, I think! So they wouldn't be mugging me unless they were crazy, or.. I dunno.  Maybe they did recognize me, and they were trying to abduct me to ransom me or something? Which would be really rude.

I guess other than that... I'd just leave?  I can teleport away,  and normally I'm disguised, so... if they're mundane, that just works.  If I couldn't just leave for some reason, I guess I could just knock them out?  Like if they were threatening someone else.  And if that didn't work... I guess they were supernatural somehow?  And... if that happened, I guess I could use force? But.. I really don't want to do that.  I might hurt them really badly if I did. 

38. You make your way to a seedy motel with an oddly populated bar to rest for the night. What do you do first? Where do you sit? Why?

Link Answered after Contract 17, Shadows Under Redwoods

Umm... that sounds really weird.  I guess... it depends on what oddly populated means?  I'd like.. want to know if they were supernatural, I guess, but I dunno how.  Probably listen to the conversations and see if any of them were weird.  But if everyone seemed normal I'd probably just go up to my room and lock the door, and just... you know. Try to sleep, if I feel safe there.  If I don't feel safe,  maybe move on to somewhere else?  I don't really mind the cold and such, so... In a pinch, I can just hide somewhere.  I don't need to eat if I don't want to, and I'm pretty comfortable in environments... so if I neeeeeed to I can like hide in a vent to sleep or something.  But I'd probably just get an uber and go somewhere nicer.   But I guess if it was part of a contract or something I'd just lock myself in my room.

Unless there was an objective there, then.. there'd be more investigating. 

39. While on a Contract, you awake to find that your luggage was stolen in your sleep. What do you do?

Link Answered after Contract 17, Shadows Under Redwoods

Um, wow.  Rude.  I'd be pretty offended!   But there's nothing really super irreplaceable in my luggage, so... it's not like I have to declare a blood feud with whoever stole it. Although I'd be pretty creeped out that someone got close enough while I was sleeping to steal my luggage. 

So I guess I'd... well, make sure that what I was sleeping with was fine, like my clothes and my pendant and stuff.  And then I'd.. well, see if it was obvious who did it and stuff?  Like if they left anything behind.  I'm pretty good at investigating things, so.. I'd look around, maybe see if there was surveillance or something.  Just because there wasn't anything irreplaceable, it's still really weird to think about someone stealing my luggage.  Like... why?

So yeah.  Try to track them down some, like.. an hour, or so.  And if I can't find anything try to just put it out of my mind.

40. The item that you were hired to “procure” is somewhere in a night-time summit on security technology. Upon arrival, it appears that the entrance requires a specific keycard to enter. How do you get in?

Link Answered after Contract 18, Ignis Mortis

Mmm... well, probably just like.. impersonate one of the security officers, and then blink past one of the fire doors or something to slip inside?  Most areas won't require a security card to move between areas, once you're past the entry, so... once I get past that, it's okay, right?  If I do need the keycard to try to get around generally.. well, do I get a little bit of heads up?  Find out who has it, sneak in while they're sleeping, obtain it?  I don't know what then.. probably lie... read his memories if it has a pin or security systems or something too. That's something!  And then I don't know.. maybe have to tie him up until the next day, otherwise when he tries to go in he'll realize he doesn't have a keycard.  I can't exactly give him an illusionary one and expect it to work.  It would be nice if we could, though.

41. About halfway through the summit, one of the leaders of the meeting reveals he’s brought everyone here to eliminate his competition. As he makes this announcement, a highly trained, fully armed team of mercenaries makes its way into the conference room. What do you do?

Link Answered after Contract 18, Ignis Mortis

...That's... um, less than ideal.   And really mean of him!  I.. I'd like to think I'd do something about it.  Like... hit the team with something to make them sleep, or... tell the guy who had declared that to call them off and have him do so.  But there's a slight issue in that.. well, a highly trained, fully armed team of mercenaries sounds scary!  I... want to say I'd do something.  But.. it depends on what the rest of my team is doing, I guess.

...If everyone else runs, I don't know.. if I'd be strong enough to stand alone.  I could maybe... um, stop the mercenaries by force.  That's... the way that I could probably do it with the best chance of success.  But... is it my right to take a bunch of lives? Even if it's evil people? I don't know.

I don't think so... but.. maybe?   Are you allowed to kill people to save other people?

42. While attempting to seize the prize, your plan goes awry; one of your teammates is killed. What do you do?

Link Answered after Contract 19, UnLondon

...Based on previous times the plan's gone awry, probably freeze up and be useless.

I don't know.

Minerva looks down at the floor, curling her tail around herself.

I don't respond well to when the plan goes wrong.   I want to.. try to talk to people, to re-plan.  But that doesn't work great when the plan is going wrong.  I'd... I'd like to tell myself that I'll try to grab them, try to escape.  I like to think of myself as pretty strong, so.. I could probably lift them up, and carry them. And if we could get somewhere safe in a minute... well, The Mother of Dragons gave me a shot that can bring someone back to life, as long as it's within a minute.  So.. I could probably bring them back.  That'd be my priority, I think.

Or.. I don't know.  It depends a bit on how badly the plan went awry.  I might just run away.  I'm sorry.

43. You have escaped with the item you were hired to find; an alien device of unknown yet clearly powerful properties. You are sent a message with a location to drop it off at. What now?

Link Answered after Contract 19, UnLondon

I'd probably just stash it and go and drop it off, right?   That's what we were contracted to do.  I... don't really have a good way to determine the properties of a device, so.. it's not like stealing it would buy me anything.  And it would make my teammates angry at me too!  Because then we'd all lose, right?

If anyone on my team wanted to take a look at it I'd probably let them, like if they said they could tell what it did!  I'd *like* to know what it did, of course!  Knowing things is nice.  I'm... bad about that.  That I really wanna know things.  Even if.. it's rude to find out or it's not right or stuff.  Because knowing things means you can make the right choices!  But... I don't know.  Sometimes the things I find out don't really help me make better choices, or... they're just traumatizing, or they set me up with unreasonable expectations.

44. What town or city do you live in? Why do you live there instead of anywhere else? Describe your home.

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

...Haven't you asked me this before?

It... feels like forever ago.  It's been less than a year, hasn't it?  Everything's changed since then, hasn't it?

Even me.  Especially me, I think.  I don't even know what I am right now.  I just.. I just met a woman who called herself a goddess and... she was powerful.  Really powerful.  She said you were always a goddess, never were.

I'm not sure what to make of it, really.  Am I... what am I?  I'm closer to a god than a mortal now, I think.

Oh.  Where I live.  Same place as when I answered this originally.  New England, at the School for Extraordinary Children.  I live here.. because it's home. 

45. How do you get your money right now? What do you spend it on?

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

Same place as before.. just.. you know, a few more strings.  Sorta.   My parents told me I have to stay out of trouble, and.. I've mostly been doing that!  You know.  Up and down. But yeah, my parents pay off all of my credit cards.  I don't spend it on a *ton*, really, but I have it just in case I need it.   That's.. a lot of stuff, really.  Just.. having stuff just in case you need it.  Sometimes those things save me!  But other than that... you know, plane tickets, things like that.  It's nice to not have to worry about stuff like that..."

 

46. Describe your Ambition. What are you striving for? How far would you go to achieve this? Would you kill for it? How close to death would you come for it?

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

Still feels like forever since you asked me that before.  I.. don't know if that much has changed.

Or maybe everything has. 

I'm still striving for power, but why?

Because I know there's so many things out there with even more power and they really don't care about us.

I remember thinking on that one job with the spider aliens that.. it could have been me, there.  Ignorant of what was about to happen and then... afraid and then dead.

And the worst part is I could still be in that situation, I think.  Not the exact same one - I think I could get myself out of that one now, even alone, but... the concept.  That something could happen that I couldn't do anything about, and then I'd be dead.  If the sleeping god under San Fransisco woke up when I was there, or if any number of things I don't know about happen.

If I get powerful enough, if I can play first fiddle... maybe I can lead the song.  And play the one I want.

I'll go as far as I need to.

...I guess I would. I have.  I didn't mean to.  I made it better when I could, but I have.

And I'd come very close.  Keep doing it.

Mother said I was stubborn.  Guess I'm too stubborn to die.

47. What was the most defining event of your life (before signing The Contract), and how did it change you?

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

This one hasn't really changed since I signed it.  My life has changed a lot since signing it.  I'm happier now.  And, you know.  I can draw on the Dreamlands and effect the world and do that, which is kinda cool.

Other than that... I dunno.  Most defining events since signing it? Uhh.. maybe when I finally learned to keep my form stable as I am now.  It's small, but.. it's important to me.  Still have this badge that I drew together with Samantha.  Feels like a lifetime ago. Maybe the moment I froze up in that underground city.  We lost, I almost got friends killed.  Although I guess it ended up being a good thing kinda because it let me find out and help a friend who's memories had been tampered with...

48. Name and briefly describe three people in your life. One must be the person you are closest to.

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

Wellll... this one is a bit harder than the last time it was asked, really!  Because since I started adventuring (and stopped being so mean to people because I was always unhappy) I have a lot more people in my life.

Karigan and Maria are still really important!  I spend a lot of time with them, given they're my roommates, and.. well, it's a little annoying how much they ask me about what I go off now now that I got spotted in that bazaar.  It's not like anyone has really seen me in this form outside of the school, so I don't have thatttt much to worry about on that front, I think.

Leon is important.  He's another kitsune I met!  And he's helped me with a few different things, and I've helped him with some things too! He even invited me to his wedding!  It was a lot of fun.  Even if unspeakable things happened there.

Samantha is still important to me, but.. I guess I do feel like I've grown apart from her just a little bit.  She still treats me like a little kid who's depressed, and.. I mean, I kinda like that, but also... that's not me, anymore, right?  I'm more than that now.

49. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

Still the same answer as before!  Hmph.  It hasn't even been a year!

Nooo.  I haven't been in love with anyone!  Unless you count loving my parents. 

I have a lot more friends now, though, that keeping them isn't literally exhausting.   So that's nice!  The attention is nice, and talking to people is just.. fun. 

And.. I dunno.  I don't know if I want to be in love with anyone for a while.

I saw.. I saw into the older kitsune's memories.  He was in love before.  And other things, but I remember him being in love.

And I remember how much it hurt.

50. What are your worst fears? Why?

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

Well.. probably kinda still the same thing as before!  Going back to the world when it was gray and cold. That's still my deepest fear, I think.  But I think I'm pretty good at keeping that suppressed, and unless I suddenly lose my abilities... well, that's sort of a fear.  But that's the same thing, I think.

But.. well, since then, I have new fears too!  Like having my soul torn out to fuel a sleeping alien god, or drowning in a river of blood, or being killed by the avatar of the evil of man in the world, or being abducted by spider aliens, or being eaten by the darkness, or trapped in an underground city populated entirely by duplicates, or trapped in a cell used as a lab experiment, or...

Yeah.

But the worst part is... those were all valid fears before, too.  I just didn't know about them.

I've seen all of those things happen to just.. people who didn't know about them right before they killed you. 

And... that's really scary to me.  It's not like those things only happen because I'm there on this job.  Those things happen regardless.

So I just need to try to make sure it doesn't happen to me or mine.

51. What is (are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it (them) so special?

Link Answered after Contract 21, Reflections

Well.  I've gained a few more possessions since last time...

The badge is still really important to me.  So is the pendant.  The badge as stuck though me thick and thin (I'm really lucky that I had it laminated... I forgot about it when I went into the blood river, but it wiped clean pretty easily!).  Still using the pendant as a crutch, but I'm trying to get better at not doing so as much.  I also have a second one that a friend made for me that's.. it's almost identical.  And if I lie to myself, I can tell myself it's the same one. 

And then I can use it as a crutch too.

Other than that.. my new coat is pretty nice.  It's damage-resistant, and it does some things really well!  It's supposed to be able to heal me, but the one time I needed it it failed.  Hmph.  Maybe I need a refund from that guy.

I got this really nifty gator mask from Dominic, and it lets me ward thinks.  I haven't had a ton of use for it  yet, but a friend gave it to me!  So it's important. 

52. What is the biggest problem in your life right now?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

I dunno... not much, I guess?  Things are going pretty well for me, by and large, besides.. you know, all the terrifying horrible things lurking in the background like sleeping alien gods and spider aliens and stuff.  But...  Well, I think most of the big problems have been sleeping for a long time, so.. I'm hoping they sleep a bit longer until I'm ready to try to deal with them.  I need to gather people to do it, too!

Of course, Minerva forgot that a group of men who tried and failed to steal something from her threatened her and were actually serious, and are going to try to make good on it.  This is pretty unexpected for her, so she's going to be surprised.  Like, you'd expect people with that kind of spite would have gotten themselves killed before making it to this point, as Minerva certainly isn't an ideal target for strange men anymore.

53. Describe a typical morning. How do you get ready to face the world?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

Hmm... well, pretty much the same way as the last time you asked me this, really!  It's been... what, six months? It's still the same school year! Although we did just get off of winter break.  Winter break was nice.  When it was winter break it was sleeping in, and then getting up late and maybe throwing an illusionary snowball at Kerigan for snoring, and then running away!

And then there's breakfast in the hall and it's really nice and everyone's there.  The meals are good!  And.. I don't know.  I'm just happy.  And it's nice to be happy.

Otherwise.. long shower! I like them hot.  I guess I forgot I turn it down one time and I heard one of the older kids describe it as 'the kind of thing they'd use to strip flesh from the bone in a slaughterhouse', and... I got really ill and kind of just went outside for a bit.  It's okay.

54. What will you do for your next birthday?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

Umm.. Sleep in, maybe? 

I'm tired a lot, it feels, but I'm always doing so much.  I'm going on these jobs every two weeks, and... it's almost been a year, and... I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up.  Even though I get two weeks in between, I.. just don't know.  I'm  tired.  I try to ignore it, and.. well, I try to ignore a lot of things. 

Otherwise.. I don't know.  Maybe invite all of the people who have helped me on the jobs?  And Samantha.  And.. I don't know.  Just.. it feels like outside of the school, I don't see a lot of people unless it's utilitarian, and it would be nice to do stuff with them outside of that!

Maybe next break...

 

55. What is your greatest regret?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

...

I don't like this question.

I... last time you asked me there was just.. one big thing.  Not saving Izzy.  And.. I still regret that a lot. 

But now I have new and exciting things to regret.

Like not saving Valentine. I didn't know him as well as Izzy, but... I still failed him.

Freezing up when Leon went forward. Nobody else did anything either, but.. but I shouldn't have froze up.  And because of it we failed, and Leon nearly died, and there were these kitsune children who didn't get let go.  I regret that.

Other than that? 

I don't know.  Not being strong enough to save all the other people whose names I don't know.  All of those eaten by the darkness and killed by aliens and all of those things, and being too weak to do anything about it.  But I keep telling myself I'll do something about it.

Just as soon as I'm strong enough.

When will that be?

56. What is the nature of your Gifts? Are they inherent potential? Do harbingers just grant your wishes?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

Still the same thing as before!  Although maybe I guess I've learned a bit more about it.  It's still.. instinctual.  That I want things to change, and things change.  But.. everything is more structured than before, I guess?  I've created the Castle of Light in the Dreamlands, and imposed order upon parts of it!  And that order lets me draw upon various abilities, sometimes.  Like.. the census!  I can do that, and get an accurate count of the number of people in the area of the physical area.

But.. yeah.  I think it's inherent potential?   It's certainly not having wishes granted.  It's just.. I was born this way, I think.  They're just.. helping me unlock it.  Or... I don't know.  I think I'm literally a reality warper.  Was I born that way?  Did any bits of it happen before, when I was younger?  Or only since my blossoming? 

I don't know.

57. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

It's complicated.

I.. I don't know.  I've done some reading on it, and.. thought about different ways, but... well, how do acknowledge what I've seen?

Are there more powerful entities in the world than me?  Yeah.

Is there something after death? 

I.. don't know.  I've never seen anyone come back from death - like, real death - I've seen after a minute or so, but.. can't a defliberator do that too? 

I don't know if I want anything to be after death.

Are there entities deserved to be called a God?

I.. don't  think so.   I haven't met any of them, at least.

If there was, could there really be so much evil in the world?

Or.. maybe they're just not strong enough.  Like me.

Maybe I have just as much right to be called a god as any of them.

What does that say about them?

What does that say about me?

58. Give a brief description of the other Contractors you see often. What do you like or dislike about them?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

Well... I guess there are some common ones!

Allister!  He has a cool looking Hyena face, and is generally nice!  I didn't tell I was on a job one time because I'm always disguised and he was a bit hurt and I feel bad so I always try to say hi to him now when I see him!  He's also really useful - he does computery things!  And he's good at it.  Like, on the last one there were all these locked doors, and he could unlock them!

Connor!  Sometimes Theo. He's... the batman!  I dunno, he's nice enough?  A little weird. He does a bunch of weird things sometimes, like trying to mind control a dragon or making a bunch of monkies into a boat crew. 

I met Liam a few times!  He's nice!  And really good!  Like, both a good person (The news says he's a hero! and he really is, he stopped a terrorist attack) and he's really powerful.

Oh, and not on jobs?  I see Leon a bunch!  He's another fox, and he's really nice!  He teaches me all sorts of things.

Iryna!  She's nice, but a little serious! 

59. What do your Limits say about you? What would it take to make you break them?

Link Answered after Contract 24, Higher Dimensions

Well... they're still the same as before, really!  I still try not to murder anyone, I don't like to get tortured, I don't like to see anyone else hurt, and I'm kinda afraid of death and don't like coming that close to it!

So.. yeah. Still the same.  Although.. I guess I'm getting better at dealing with them?  I feel like... my conscience is a little bit clearer since the beginning?  I know I'm doing my best, and.. and I have to do it, right?  I need to do this or.. well, the alternatives are worse.  Like... the time that Chicago might have exploded.  Or... the spider aliens. 

Would I break my limits to try to prevent a greater disaster?  I... yes.   Probably. 

I don't think I ever have, but.. I would, I think, to save people or.. keep things from getting worse.  Because... the world is... scary.  And sometimes I need to do scary things. 

I wish I didn't have to.

 

60. What do you try hardest to keep secret?

I... feel like there's a lot more things since the last time you asked me this.

The hardest, though? Maybe my identity, outside of the school.  I messed up once, and people saw me in my normal form, and... somehow they found me.  But they didn't take it out on me.  I probably could have taken it. At least, I think so.  They attacked my family.  And... that's why I need to try to keep my identity a secret.  Because even though I saved them this time - except for Julie, my parents dog... - I can't let it happen again in case I can't.

Other than that?  Maybe the fact that I'm slowly coming apart at the seams.  I'm... I don't know.  I fear I'm starting to get lost in my memories.  Sometimes I'm not sure if something I'm remembering is mine or something that I've archived.  That's terrifying.  But.. I need to keep drawing on it.  I need those skills.

61. A Contractor you’ve worked with multiple times doesn’t survive a Contract you’re on. Do you set up a memorial? Loot the body? Try to bring them back?

...I think that's happened twice to me. 

Once was Valentine.  He... he went back with me, to save Iryna, and he.. didn't escape himself.  After it was all said and done... I don't know.  I think there was something quiet, but Iryna kind of took the lead on it.  She looted the body, gave me some of the things on it.  It felt a little ghoulish, but... well, the living need it more than the dead, right? 

The other was Izzy.  Poor Izzy.  I don't know.   I went to her home, and.. it was peaceful.  I spoke with her Goddess.  I made sure that her home would be maintained, the shrines to the Goddess there she had would still stand.  That's the least that we can do, right?

Maybe one day I'll try to bring them back.  What happened to them wasn't fair, not really.

A fundamental rejection of the order of life and death.

Who would be able to say I wasn't fit then?