Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown)'s Questionnaire

1. What town or city do you live in? Why do you live there instead of anywhere else? Describe your home.

Link Answered before Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown)'s first Contract.

Although my parents are from Goobertown, Arkansas, and I return to visit them often. They own a two-story townhouse, and I have a room in the basement where I am welcome to stay. My parents - Both entertainers - Approve of my choice of employment. I currently live and am employed by a travelling circus. My employment is fairly flexible, as I am not a central part of the show, so I can come and go as I please. When I am there, I get three meals a day and a place to sleep, plus make a decent amount of money. When I am away, I often entertain sick children at hospitals or do other charity work. My goal in life in to help the world be a more enjoyable place for everyone - The world needs more laughter and whimsy.

2. How do you get your money right now? What do you spend it on?

Link Answered before Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown)'s first Contract.

I get most of my money working part-time at a travelling circus. We perform in the rural areas outside of cities and sometimes stop in smaller towns. Smaller towns pay worse, but they enjoy us more - They are in greater need of entertainment. I spend most of my money on tools of the trade, travel expenses, and donations to local children's hospitals. As a professional circus clown, I live comfortably while only working part-time. Honestly, it is a great gig if you have the manual dexterity and charisma for it.

My act includes physical comedy like juggling, tumbling, acrobatics, and imitation, as well as less physical pieces like short bits of stand up.

3. Describe your Ambition. What are you striving for? How far would you go to achieve this? Would you kill for it? How close to death would you come for it?

Link Answered before Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown)'s first Contract.

My goal in life is to alleviate as much of the suffering I see in the world as I can, especially among children and youth. There is so much awfulness in the world, and laughter is the best medicine. I hope to work towards making a world that enjoys childlike whimsy without judgment and allows adults and children alike to engage in buffoonery. 

Despite being a cheerful person who constantly jokes, I am privately a very depressed person. I find the only time I am truly happy is when I am working - Seeing the smiles on people's faces, watching people laugh. I'm constantly chasing that high - sometimes even risking my own life for it. To be honest, it's all I live for. If I hurt myself flipping off a high-wire or slipping on a pie, it will be worth it for all the joy and laughter I have brought so many people.


4. What was the most defining event of your life (before signing The Contract), and how did it change you?

Link Answered before Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown)'s first Contract.

When I was a young boy, I was diagnosed with Pneumonia. The only thing that kept me sane was my parents visiting every day, bringing me gag gifts, jokes, and little comedy routines. Watching the other kids in the hospital, I realized that they also looked forward to my parents visiting. I saw firsthand how much joy they brought to the world. 

It's those little things - Making someone laugh, bringing another person just a little bit of joy - that make life worth living. It made me realize just how far I would go to continue my parents' work - To continue to bring joy and wonder, whimsy and excitement to the world. It is with this in mind that I chose my career - going to clown college, getting an internship at a joke factory, working stage crew for stand-up acts, and working my way up the industry with single-minded determination. And of course, volunteering at local hospitals every weekend.

5. Name and briefly describe three people in your life. One must be the person you are closest to.

Link Answered before Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown)'s first Contract.

The two people closest to me are probably my parents - Janet and Jeremy Montegue, although I always call them Spin and Gumball. My father was born in France, and got a job working as a traditional French clown. Eventually, he moved to the USA to move in with my mother, who he met while she was travelling in Paris. My mother was born in the US, and has worked as an actor for most of her life. You have probably seen some of her work, she is very well-known.

My best friend is Charles Gabriel - Aka Grumble the Clown. He is about my size and build, so we do a lot of work together when two identical clowns are needed. Outside of work, we have a close friendship, and we often write scripts and new comedy pieces together. When we do work together, they call me Bumble the clown. The standard act is I fall and mess something up, and he gets mad and causes things to become further messed up, which he then gets in trouble for.

6. How was your childhood? Who were your parents? What were they like? Did you attend school? If so, did you fit in? If not, why not?

Link Answered after Contract 2, Crimes of Passion

I have a high school education as well as some basic training in clownery and buffoonery from a few classes, but most of my knowledge comes from my parents. Additionally, I learned a lot from my time in the workplace, as I was taught by the other clowns a lot about staging, falls, and the like. Back when I was in school, I was always the class clown, trying to make people laugh or smile. I did attempt a post-secondary education, attending a small community collage for a few years, but dropped out due to not being the brightest and some focus issues. I find I learn best from direct experience, much better than traditional book-learning. In terms of my actual childhood, I think that went very well. I was never really bullied or picked on. But I was never popular, other than the antics I pulled off for attention.

7. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?

Link 🔞 Answered after Contract 4, Sanctuary
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8. What are your worst fears? Why?

Link Answered after Contract 5, Maikendo

Well, it's certainly not clowns! If I had to pick one thing I am afraid of, I would say it's probably losing the ability to perform. I live for the stage, being in that spotlight, making people happy. I also have a bit of an irrational fear of the dead: ghosts, undead, that sort of thing. Maybe I'm just being superstitious, but that sort of thing is difficult to understand. I am still new to this supernatural stuff, and avoiding these sorts of things seems healthy. I recently also ran into some blokes who don't seem to like the supernatural very much at all. I think people have an inherent fear of the unknown, and that's why they fear me, and why I fear the undead. It's not a rational thing, but it's also not something I, or they, can control. Therefore, there is no real reason to blame them emotionally. I think the best thing I can do for my fears and others' fears to make knowledge about the posthuman as public as possible. Honestly, I think all the secrecy and whatnot is harmful to the contractors as a whole. It's scary to have people that hate me so much though. I can't imagine feeling that strongly against another fellow human being.

9. What is (are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it (them) so special?

Link Answered after Contract 5, Maikendo

I have two magical artifacts that I have won in the contracts that are certainly the most valuable things I own. I have never placed a ton of importance on physical objects, but I must admit these objects have a massive amount of usefulness. The best things in life aren't things at all, but these objects are useful for protecting my friends and family, and so they do hold a large amount of value. However, I would happily give these objects up if It was necessary to protect my family or friends. Probally not a sentiment to tell other contractors, though. it's a good way to get robbed in a hostage situation. Some of the contractors seem...morally unscrupulous.

Personally, I think there is a mistake in their reasoning. Stealing objects or murdering your allies for their power might benifit you in the short term, but your allies are worth far more than the sum of their items.