I wake up before the sun thinks about rising.
The world feels heavier at that hour — raw, unfinished.
Perfect.
First, I check my hands. Make sure they’re steady.
There’s no point whispering life or death into someone’s ear if your own fingers tremble.
I practice breathing. Deep. Slow. Rhythmic. A surgeon’s breath. A reaper’s patience.
Red scrubs, clean and pressed, go on next. I’m not sloppy. Sloppiness is for the living.
Coffee is black, bitter enough to remind me why I’m still here.
Sometimes I watch the city from my window, count the few poor souls walking the streets so early. I wonder if they’ll be mine today. I hope so.
Before leaving, I whisper to myself.
It’s not prayer. It's a promise.
"You will be merciful."
"You will be efficient."
"You will not waver."
Only then do I step into the world, ready to offer peace to a species too afraid to take it.
later
Mornings are mechanical now.
I open my eyes because I must, not because I want to.
The world isn't a thing I face — it’s a thing I endure.
The moment I wake, I check my vitals: pulse, breath, clarity.
The body is a machine. It must be maintained if the mission is to continue.
No mirror. I don't look at myself anymore. There's nothing to see but function.
The red scrubs go on.
The glasses — my artifact, my weapon — polished and set on my nose.
My bag, full of instruments more sacred than any priest’s relics.
Breakfast, if you can call it that, is a handful of vitamins and water. No time for softness.
No time for cravings or comforts.
Those are the luxuries of those who still believe they are alive.
Before I leave, I recite the Oath. Not Hippocrates.
Mine.
"They will know peace, even if they must bleed to reach it."
I step outside not to greet the day, but to conquer it.
Every hour is another cut into the rotting flesh of humanity.
And I will not stop until the last heartbeat stills.