Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

1
This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
(Anyone who witnesses you activate this Effect or for its duration is very likely to be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom. You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see black gooey waste coming out from the bottom.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Must roll Self-Control if you see any reference to food besides what you create. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You are viewing an old version of this Gift.
To view the most recent version Click Here

Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on improving power: Schrodinger's Chef    (since refunded)
Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on adjusting power: Schrodinger's Chef    (since refunded)
Revision purchased with:
Gift from playing in Crois deora spent on new power: Schrodinger's Chef
Learn about CryptoLeak - Hide fake ads

Community Upgrade Gifts

Exert your Mind (unless you win a coin flip) and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien things that travel the roads. From shoes, to 18 wheelers. within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.

  • "Destroyed" in this context means "prevented from functioning for its primary purpose", so for instance, an upgraded land mine would still explode as normal if triggered, even though it cannot be "destroyed" and a car's windows may still be broken.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Spend an Action. Select a Non-Alien door, container, knot, or lock within arm's reach.

You may lock, unlock, and/or open your target.

  • Operating some locking mechanisms through this Effect may have a secondary effect, such as a turn-key ignition on an older or cheaper car causing it to start or stop. Note that the locking mechanism itself must satisfy the standard targeting requirements (including line of sight), not just the vehicle.
  • Any mechanism that requires a key, keycard, key fob, or combination may be considered locked, at the GM's discretion. This Effect may be used on doors and containers secured with control panels or other electronic locks, but not computer security systems at large.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Hephaestus has seen that Edith dedicates herself to standing up for her fellows in the disabled community, and is willing to offer her some knowledge on how to improve the creations of others. As long as that dedication to helping others remains.

This Artifact has been upgraded.

This Artifact receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Maker's Creed: When you can stand in defense of someone who is weaker than yourself, you must roll self control to not do so.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. This Effect cannot be used unless the bonuses are only granted against attacks by magical weapons, or magical entities. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you destroys the object. You must actively and obviously use prism to activate this Effect. Can be used on Armor.

Lasts the next day. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed. Upgraded Armor is shredded by half the normal amount. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.

You may upgrade any number of Objects within a 10 foot radius of your target.

Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.

  • "Destroyed" in this context means "prevented from functioning for its primary purpose", so for instance, an upgraded land mine would still explode as normal if triggered, even though it cannot be "destroyed" and a car's windows may still be broken.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a Device within arm's reach. Can be used on Alien technology. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you the item is broken. You must use up lithium-ion battery in order to activate this Effect. Can be used on Armor.

Lasts the next day. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.

Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.

  • Upgrading Alien Devices does not add bonus dice to any rolls related to the Device’s passive or activated Effects.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Stock Upgrade Gifts

Spend 1 Action and use up this glowing blue disk. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.

After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -2 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.

  • "Destroyed" in this context means "prevented from functioning for its primary purpose", so for instance, an upgraded land mine would still explode as normal if triggered, even though it cannot be "destroyed" and a car's windows may still be broken.
  • This consumable is destroyed when used and cannot be used again.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up $10,000 cash (or equivalent) in order to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.