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Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu
The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).
Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.
On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.
On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits. That's where Schrodinger comes in.
On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)
Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you The backpack appears to create the intended food item, but it is incredibly poisonous.. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.
- Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
- Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
- You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
- Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.
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Offr.com: What's it worth?
"Most people know Offr.com as the home of the gig economy: a website where you can find a buyer for your old couch, and a worker to haul it away. It’s the home of everything from marketplace goods and bespoke commissions to task fulfillment and transportation services. Some whisper about less-than-legal deals being available on a 'dark web' version of Offr.com. The company denies these claims."
Sooner or later, all Contractors receive an invitation to join Offr Red, the secret membership tier. Offr Red members gain access to exclusive high-confidence, anonymous services. They can sell extraordinary items to Offr or put them up for auction for other Offr Red members to bid on. Crafty Contractors rejoice!
On rare occasions, Offr can even make deals to tie up pesky Loose Ends. However, they always demand a special favor in return.
Community
Upgrade Gifts
Tip of the Spear
No one is safe from the deadly tip of the Barbed Spear
This Artifact has been upgraded.
This Artifact receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
- Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
- Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
Better guns
here, use this one instead
with the power of touch over the process of doing maintenance a mundane firearm will start glowing with golden runes coiled around it's barrel and emblazoned onto the handle enhancing it for an entire day
Exert your Mind and spend an hour to activate. Select a non-Alien firearm within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
For the next day, your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken with its intended use.
- You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
Meaty Improvement
The Item did not sign up for this
With his mythical ability he has been granted to pass on the power to items so that he may use them to help himself, slicing his hand open and rubbing his blood across the item turns the weapon both better and more in tune with his god, the gun smelling like rotten flesh, it bubble grows on the weapon and pops despite its metallic appearance, and the occasional drop of blood from it. The guns insides are now a meaty and strong improvement that have replaced its parts and will survive for a while like a parasite to the item but will soon die out and make the weapon worse then before.
Take a Severity-1 Injury and spend a minute to activate. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must actively and obviously use A necklace of the image Yog-sothoth to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
For the next day, your target receives 1 extra dice to all actions taken with its intended use.
You may choose a second valid Device target while activating this effect and splice both targets into a single new Device. The newly created item has the same size as the larger of the two initial targets, and can be used to perform the same actions as either of the original items. It receives 1 extra dice to those actions for the next day.
- After the effect ends, spliced items become un-spliced and return to being separate items.
- You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
The Cold Shoulder
People will ask for this one
Jimson Shivers' transformation has begun. The element of cold that he seeks to channel is pushing itself to the surface. His palms are cold to the touch. It is a cold he knows he can spread. If he so desires, he can. The skin on his hand peels back. Slowly. Intentionally. Sensing his desire to help. Whatever he touches next, the Ice on his hands almost infects it. Causing massive crystalline growth all over it. Beautiful blue Ice shapes itself around whatever he makes contact with, turning it into a sculpted, beautiful version of itself. The ice totally encapsulates whatever he touches, leaving no surface on the item left unmarred.
Take a Severity-1 Injury and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Can be used on Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed. Upgraded Armor is shredded by half the normal amount. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see As Jimson places his hands on the object he wishes to Imbue, the skin on his palms slowly peels peels back, revealing that beneath his skin, there is nothing but ice.
- "Destroyed" in this context means "prevented from functioning for its primary purpose", so for instance, an upgraded land mine would still explode as normal if triggered, even though it cannot be "destroyed" and a car's windows may still be broken.
- When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
- The Injury received from activating this Effect heals in 1 day and cannot be prevented or prematurely healed by any means.
- Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
- Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
- You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
- Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.
To Swear Upon The Lord's Name
The User places their hand upon Geneva and recites the tome as the Archangel Gabriel descends to seal the oath. After swearing upon The Lord's Name, chains emerge from the archangel's wings sealing the oath.
You may make an oath with any number of Sapient targets. Communicate the oath's terms to the targets, including the requirements and penalties for each participant. If all agree to the terms, you must Exert your Mind (unless you win a coin flip) and all participants must Swear upon The Lord's name to seal the deal.
Record the oath as a Condition. If a party breaks the oath, the Condition ends and they suffer the oath's penalty.
When crafting your oath, you may incorporate any of the following penalties:
- A Battle Scar up to Severe (deaf, missing limb)
- The oath-breaker is physically marked as an oath-breaker, and any investigative effect will reveal the terms of the oath they broke.
- A particular Trauma and a single Mind Damage
- The oath-breaker goes unconscious for up to 24 hours
- An Injury up to Severity-6 (cannot be reduced by any means)
The targets cannot be compelled to agree via a direct threat of violence, another Effect, or another oath. If you would like to use clever wording to mislead the targets, you must succeed a contested Intellect + (Culture or Influence) roll.
The targets may be at any range, but you must still be able to communicate the terms to them, and they must be able to Swear upon The Lord's name.
It is obvious to your targets that the oath you are proposing will be supernaturally enforced.
- All Oaths must have at least two participants.
- The terms and penalties of the oath do not need to be equitable and do not need to affect all parties equally.
- A single action cannot break multiple oaths. You cannot 'stack' oath penalties by having a target sign multiple identical oaths, or similar.
- Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.
Stock
Upgrade Gifts
The Best That Money Can Buy
Never settle for budget brands.
The aristocrat knows a ritual that allows them to rent the best version of any item. They set $10,000 worth of cash on fire and place the item to be upgraded in the fire as well. While in the flame, the item morphs into a high-end version of itself. After a while, it reverts.
Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up $10,000 cash (or equivalent) in order to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
- Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
- Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
- You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
- Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.
Thorium Core
This design is too restrained! It can be improved.
The mad scientist produces thorium cores that can be used to upgrade tools and other devices. The core supercharges the item, increasing its quality and rendering it indestructible for a period. However, once the core runs dry, the object is rendered less useful than it was before. The core crackles with blue electricity while active.
Spend 1 Action and use up this glowing blue disk. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -2 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.
- "Destroyed" in this context means "prevented from functioning for its primary purpose", so for instance, an upgraded land mine would still explode as normal if triggered, even though it cannot be "destroyed" and a car's windows may still be broken.
- This consumable is destroyed when used and cannot be used again.
- Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
- Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
- You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
- Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.