Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

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This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits. That's where Schrodinger comes in.

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you The backpack appears to create the intended food item, but it is incredibly poisonous.. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You are viewing an old version of this Gift.
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Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on adjusting power: Schrodinger's Chef
Revision purchased with:
Gift from playing in Crois deora spent on new power: Schrodinger's Chef
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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as this effect can only be used if it’s attached to a living object. and you are wearing this Artifact.

Your Stress from Injuries and Mind Damage is reduced to 0.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action. Select a Animate target within arm's reach.

For the next 24 hours, your target does not require any food, water, or sleep. Any roll to resist an Effect dependent on any affected requirement is made at -1 Difficulty.

You may only use this Effect once per day.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action. Select a Location within 10 feet.

You place a ward,. You can perceive with all your senses through the ward as though you were standing at its location. Your wards last 3 hours. This Artifact may have at most 3 wards active at once.

The ward requires Concentration to monitor, though it will remain active until you deactivate it. The ward can be discovered if someone knows what they are looking for, but is otherwise inconspicuous and cannot be identified as a ward.

You may destroy the Ward to activate one Investigate Individual, Object, or Area Effect as though you were standing at its location.

You may declare a condition to watch for on an active Ward. If it occurs, you may roll Perception + Alertness, Difficulty 6, to notice it, even if you are not actively monitoring that ward.

Whenever something crosses into the observational range of the Ward, you and those you've allowed to tune in are alerted by ring tone of choice.

Your Ward records all activity it observes, regardless of whether or not you are actively monitoring it. This recording can be played back and referenced later.

You may communicate through your ward, though doing so will reveal its presence.

  • Full Spectrum: This investigation Effect is as obvious as it would normally be. The Effect is targeted as though you were standing at the location of the Ward. You must pay all activation costs and satisfy all activation requirements of the Effect.
  • Your ward's recording is maintained even if your Ward is destroyed.
  • Your ward cannot be used to satisfy the line of sight requirement for targeted Effects.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

This Artifact can be used as a shotgun. It is roughly at least twice as large as a shotgun and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage. Unless The User must be inside the Dwarven Sentinel, this Artifact behaves as its mundane counterpart.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +5 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see the object gain the attributes of a werewolf (Monsters).

  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.