Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

1
This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits. That's where Schrodinger comes in.

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)


Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you The backpack appears to create the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous.. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on improving power: Schrodinger's Chef    (since refunded)
Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on adjusting power: Schrodinger's Chef    (since refunded)
Revision purchased with:

Community Targeted Gifts

Exert your Mind and spend an Action. Select a target within 45 feet. Roll Brawn + Firearms Difficulty 6. The target may contest by rolling to Dodge or Defend as a Reaction, Difficulty 6.

If the Contested Outcome is positive, the target takes that much Damage plus 4.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Uses Charisma + Law

Spend one minute to activate. Select a Sapient target within 20 feet. You must continuously interact with the individual in question in order to gather any information. At the end of your investigation, roll Charisma + Culture at Difficulty 6. The target resists by rolling Mind at Difficulty 7.

You learn all the following information about your target:

  • You learn Major Crimes and Motives.

The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

This Gift's Cost is capped at 2 and cannot be increased further.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Spend an Action. Select a target within 45 feet. Roll Brawn + Alertness Difficulty 6. The target may contest by rolling to Dodge or Defend as a Reaction, Difficulty 6.

If the Contested Outcome is positive, the target takes that much Damage plus 4. Armor is fully effective against this Damage.

You may use this Effect to Defend against any melee, projectile, or firearm Attacks within range or Clash against any Attack targeted at you. Using it to Defend deals no Damage but does not cost Exertion.

If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

This Gift's Cost is capped at 2 and cannot be increased further.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Increase your sacrificial Injury's Severity by 1 and spend an Action. Select a Non-Sapient, Animate target within 300 feet. This Effect cannot be used unless used on undead.

For the next day, you may issue specific commands to your target which they will be compelled to follow. All other Non-Sapient, Animate targets which are the same species as your target will also be compelled to follow commands that you issue if they are within 300 feet when the command is given.

Your commands can be complex and multi-layered, though they must still be specific. You can make them endanger themselves or otherwise go against their self-preservation instincts. The effects of the command will fade after a day has passed.

If you use this Effect on the same Creature two days in a row, the effect lasts indefinitely.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation will almost certainly be disturbed to see The user vomits forth a large amount of blood.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.

If you do not have a sacrificial Injury when you activate this Effect, take a new Severity-1 Injury.

  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
  • Exhaustion penalties and duration stack. If you activate this Effect or another Effect with Exhaustion, your penalty will worsen, and the duration is increased by one hour.
  • The sacrificial Injury received from activating this Effect cannot be prevented by any means or healed before 1 day has passed. It is shared with all Effects that use sacrifice. This Injury does not requires Stabilization or cause Battle Scars when it becomes Severe.
  • Your commands must be directly communicated to your target in some way, though this does not require a shared language.
  • If targeting a Sapient target that counts as a Creature due to an Effect, you must succeed a contested Mind roll. You roll at Difficulty 6, and the target rolls at Difficulty 8.
  • Targets with Body ratings higher than 10 require a Charisma + Animals roll resisted by the target’s Body. Kaiju and environment-scale targets are immune.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend 2 Actions. Select a Device within 300 feet. Can be used on Alien technology. Roll Intellect + Technology, with the Difficulty set by the GM depending on the security of the system you are hacking. Sapient targets can resist by rolling Mind at Difficulty 6.

If you succeed, you may issue a single command to the targeted system. This command must have a specific outcome or be a request for specific login credentials. The command you issue must be within the machine's current capabilities. For example, you cannot order a standard security camera to grow legs and walk around.

Your command does not have to take effect immediately. Instead, upon a successful Hack, you may specify a condition under which the specified command is issued or simply suspend the Command until you desire to activate it.

If your command does not require bypassing the security of the target (for example, typing on a computer that is unlocked), you do not need to Exert your Mind to activate this Effect, and activation only takes a single Action.

When targeting non-computer devices, you may operate switches, buttons, dials, levers, and latches.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Conspiracy Nut: You believe any conspiracy theories told to you.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • You cannot hack things outside of your range over remote connections such as the internet. The system you are affecting must be physically within range.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Stock Targeted Gifts

Spend an Action. Select a target within arm's reach. You must actively and obviously use at least a gallon of water to activate this Effect. Roll Dexterity + Athletics Difficulty 6. The target may contest by rolling to Dodge or Defend as a Reaction, Difficulty 6.

If the Contested Outcome is positive, the target takes that much Damage plus 4.

You may use this Effect to Defend against any melee, projectile, or firearm Attacks within range or Clash against any Attack targeted at you. Using it to Defend deals no Damage but does not cost Exertion.

This Gift cannot have more than 3 Drawbacks, and its Gift Cost is capped at 2.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of Effect. There must be no substantial obstructions between you and your target.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up $10,000 cash (or equivalent) in order to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a target Object within arm's reach. At the end of your investigation, roll Charisma + Culture at Difficulty 6.

You learn all the following information about your target:

  • You learn the object's highest material value and why it is worth so much.
The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

You cannot investigate the same target more than once per day.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action or Reaction. Select a Animate target within 20 feet. This Effect cannot be used unless the target is a living human. Roll a single d10, Difficulty 4. If you fail or botch, the Effect fails and you cannot activate it again for an hour. Roll Charisma + Occult at Difficulty 6.

If you succeed, you create a barrier around your target, which absorbs the next Outcome +2 Damage. The Damage reduction from the barrier is applied before Armor. You may only have 1 active barrier at a time.

You must maintain Concentration while using this Effect. The barrier will fall if you are interrupted, or if it absorbs the full amount of Damage. When a barrier falls, you cannot use this Effect again for a minimum of 2 Rounds.

This Effect is not obvious, and the only sign you are using an Effect is you whispering a prayer under your breath. If someone suspects that an Effect was used, they must roll Perception + Alertness, Difficulty 8 to pick up on your Tell.

  • If this Effect fails due to the Unreliable check, you must still pay any associated activation costs.
  • Effects which circumvent Armor completely also circumvent your barrier.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Spend one minute. Select a Sapient target or a Creature within arm's reach. You must actively converse with the individual in question for one minute in order to gather any information. At the end of your investigation, roll Perception + Medicine at Difficulty 6. The target may Resist.

You learn all the following information about your target:

  • You determine any medical or physiological issues they have, as well as their species and a general overview of their biology.
  • You learn a full medical history, including past injuries and illnesses as well as the healing process involved.

The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

This Gift cannot have more than 3 Drawbacks, and its Gift Cost is capped at 2.

You cannot investigate the same target more than once per day.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.