Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

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This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you The backpack appears to create the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous.. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

To fix a problem, you've got to find it first, and seeing is believing. The idea of the Psych-Scope came to Dr. Maddox in a dream, but it's design..that came from something otherworldly. The Psych-Scope's lenses are able to compose visual representations of conditions and traumas that a person is being affected by. The realistic manifestations found only within the target's mind, often deep within their subconscious can be unsettling. While active, it is hard to determine real from imaginary as the scope convinces your mind that the manifestations are tangible and not all dreams can be easily envisioned by an outside mind.

Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a Sapient target within 20 feet. You cannot investigate the same target more than once per hour. You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means. At the end of your investigation, roll Perception + Investigation at Difficulty 6.

You learn a single specific piece of information, chosen from the following list, about your target:

  • You determine any medical or physiological issues they have, as well as their species and a general overview of their biology.
  • You learn where the target sleeps, how long they tend to sleep each night, whether or not they have nightmares, and what their nightmares tend to be about.

The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

You cannot investigate the same target more than once per day.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You no longer require any food or water in order to survive.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action.

Summon up to 3 Sapient Gobbos at your location. They last until they move more than 150 feet from you or are destroyed They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. They will attack any Undead targets they encounter immediately and will ignore your commands to do otherwise. This Artifact may have at most 3 minions active at a time.

  • Initiative: Minions act directly after you in Combat starting the Round after they are summoned.
  • Combat: Minions roll 4 dice to dodge, Grapple, or make unarmed Attacks. Their unarmed Attacks are melee range and deal +2 Damage.
  • Body/Mind: Minions have 5 Body. Your minions roll 3 Mind resistance dice.
  • Armor: Minions have 1 Armor.
  • Movement: Minions can move 15 feet per Round as Free Movement and double that when performing an all-out Sprint.
  • Intelligence: Minions have human-level intelligence and can speak your language. They can use equipment, Artifacts, and Consumables. However, they cannot Exert their Mind.
  • Actions: Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 3 dice. Any other roll is made with 3 dice. They can lift and haul as though they have 2 Brawn.
  • Unusual: Minions are obviously Alien to any observer.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Klepto. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Minions die if targeted with Energy Transfer (before the Effect resolves) or if an Artifact or Consumable they use would Injure them or cause them to roll Trauma.
  • Minions will only attack Undead targets that are larger than a mouse.
  • Your minions may count as additional targeting types based on their flavor. For example: Living, Computer, Creature, etc.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

Your senses are enhanced in the following way.

  • Sight: You can see things that are up to a mile away as though you were only standing twenty feet away, provided your view is unobstructed.

Any heightened senses require you to maintain Concentration to use, and do not apply to any passive Perception checks.

This Artifact can be used as a thrusting sword. It is roughly the same size as a thrusting sword but can be collapsed into an origami spring and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +2 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Extend-o-blade: This melee weapon may extend up to 50 feet for a single Attack, Defense, or Clash. Retracting back into its usable size is a Quick Action.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.