Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

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This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are Rich. and you are wearing this Artifact.

You have 4 Armor, which reduces incoming Damage. Armor from multiple sources does not stack. Called Shots may circumvent your Armor, depending on its coverage.

After exerting a significant amount of time and mystical energy into this handgun. It has been imbued with a life of its own and cooperates with its owner to prevent any harm coming their way. It seems to be able to speak telepathically with its wielder yet cannot be heard by others.

This Artifact can be used as a handgun. It is roughly at least twice as large as a handgun and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal 6 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage.

This item is a living thing. It counts as a Creature when targeted. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • You may spend a Quick Action to change this firearm's base stats into those of any other basic firearm.

  • Changing this weapon's base type affects its range, Weapon Damage, concealability, and roll. Other mechanics of the chosen base firearm (such as the tripod requirement for sniper rifles) apply.
  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

Expend a point of Battery and spend 15 minutes. Select a Living target within arm's reach. Your target must also Exert their Mind to activate this Effect. Your target must make a Trauma roll when you activate this Effect. Choose a specific Injury on your target that has not yet been treated with this Effect and roll Intellect + Science at Difficulty 6.

If you succeed, the Injury is reduced in Severity by your Outcome. If you reduce its Severity to 0, the Injury is fully healed. Otherwise, it is partially healed and will heal the rest of the way at its natural rate.

This counts as a successful Makeshift Stabilization if the Injury was not already Stabilized; any Battle Scars caused by the Injury will remain.

  • Unstabilized wounds do not degenerate during treatment.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +4 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Inoculation: If you succeed a Body resistance roll against an Effect, you are immune to that Effect for the next 24 hours.
  • Instant Vitamins: You may Exert your Mind to convert your bonus resistance dice into additional Outcome to any Body resistance roll.
  • Internal Awareness: You are automatically aware of and may diagnose any disease, toxin, drug, or similar which enters your system.
  • Purge Toxins: You may take a Severity-1 Injury to cancel the effect of any non-Alien drug, poison, or toxin in your system, as long as you are aware of its existence.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.

Take a Severity-1 Injury and spend a minute to activate. This Effect cannot be used unless someone skilled in surgery must first attach an existing face to the mask, or stitch one together from pieces of faces.

Your appearance changes to the form that matches the face attached to the mask. The disguise lasts until you either activate a new disguise, or choose to end the effect.

You are only able to shift into the one predefined appearance. This new appearance must have a similar sex, age, and race to your own. You cannot significantly change your height and weight. Your disguise cannot directly mimic an existing person. You cannot alter your clothes. You may add inhuman features to your disguise. Your disguise can alter your smell, DNA, and other aspects that are not perceivable via human senses. A disguise cannot affect your Attributes or other stats.

  • While you can add inhuman features, they are aesthetic only. Think star trek alien, monstergirl, demon, etc. Does not grant things such as a prehensile tail, an extra damaging brawl attack, improved senses, etc.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.