Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

1
This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You are viewing an old version of this Gift.
To view the most recent version Click Here

Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on improving power: Schrodinger's Chef    (since refunded)
Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on adjusting power: Schrodinger's Chef    (since refunded)
Revision purchased with:
Gift from playing in Crois deora spent on new power: Schrodinger's Chef
Learn about Offr - Hide fake ads

Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

These magical markings let the body synthesize an unknown chemical which keeps the glymphatic system active during waking hours, so body and mind are able to keep functioning without restriction.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You no longer require any sleep in order to survive. You no longer age naturally, and supernatural attempts to age you fail.

You may spend one minute entering a state of hibernation, during which you are inanimate and unaffected by any requirements for life. You may still perceive the outside world and may spend 3 Rounds ‘waking up’ to end it.

This Artifact can be used as a handgun. It is roughly the same size as a handgun but can be collapsed into a rabbit's foot and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • You may spend a Quick Action to change this firearm's base stats into those of any other basic firearm.
  • Silencer: The report of any shots you fire may be made silent at will.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Changing this weapon's base type affects its range, Weapon Damage, concealability, and roll. Other mechanics of the chosen base firearm (such as the tripod requirement for sniper rifles) apply.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

Spend an Action. Select a target within arm's reach. This Effect cannot be used unless you are disguising an object. Choose an illusion to generate, which can be no larger than a briefcase.

The chosen illusion is generated at your target, and it will remain in place for the next 3 Rounds or you choose to end it. It can be perceived by people through their sight. The illusion cannot be used as an attack. You cannot make an exact replica of an existing Animate being or Object.

Anyone who touches the illusion (or who would be able to perceive it significantly through a sense it cannot fool) realizes it is an illusion, and the entire effect will be ended for all targets.

The illusion will remain fixed to its initial target, and can only change locations if the initial target is mobile in some way. It may have moving parts and engage in simple, predetermined movements but cannot perform anything complex or interactive unless you maintain Concentration and “puppeteer” it.

Any illusion made to disguise an Object as a different Object with a similar size and shape last a minimum of one day and can only be broken by a scientific analysis, investigative Effects, or witnessing the object being used in an inconsistent way.

This Gift cannot have more than 3 Drawbacks, and its Gift Cost is capped at 2.

  • while you can use an illusion to obscure something smaller, you cannot make anything directly invisible (you can’t make a tank look like a regular baseball, but you can hide it in an illusion of a giant baseball).
  • You may only puppeteer a single illusion at once.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Unreliable? I haven't field tested it yet.

Draining? There's a hear and air-circulation issue I'm working on it right now.

Metal Automechanical: (Flak Jacket 3 Armor)

Battle-Axe: (Great-Axe +3 Damage)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a Quick Action.

You transform into the Dwarven Sentinal for 3 minutes. You have access to all of your Powers while you are the Dwarven Sentinal, and you can use your equipment. Your Battle Scars, Injuries, and physical Liabilities are carried over between forms. Reverting from your Alternate Form cannot cause your existing Injuries to kill you. Instead, you remain Incapacitated.

While transformed, your Attributes are the same. Your Stress is reduced by 2.

While transformed, instead of your normal clothes and equipment, you are equipped with: 6 ft Tall Automechanical with a battle-axe.

After this Effect ends, you cannot move quicker than a walk (15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour.

  • Attribute bonuses from multiple sources do not stack. Instead the highest bonus is used.

Exert your Mind and spend 2 Actions. If you are at your house, you may choose a target Location within your line of sight; otherwise, your target may only be your house.

You are transported directly to the chosen Location. Anyone who is touching you as you Travel will be brought along with you. You must wait an hour before activating this effect again.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.

You may only use this Effect once per day.

  • Exhaustion penalties and duration stack. If you activate this Effect or another Effect with Exhaustion, your penalty will worsen, and the duration is increased by one hour.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.