Silent Coach Ask Not For Whom La Cucaracha Honks

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An extraordinary spectral RV.
Used by BETH☠️METAL, Created by lesbianspacepirate.
On Legendary Artifact Beth's Tour Bus.

Charred and triumphant, BETH☠️METAL's exploded tour bus returns to the land of the living once more. Still, neither of them seem to have returned unaltered.

Noli respicere post tergum in infernum.


This Artifact can be used as a spectral RV. It is roughly the same size as a spectral RV and just as difficult to conceal.

This spectral RV has soundproofing. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.


Community Extraordinary Vehicle Gifts

Body 7, mind 2, 10 armour Armoured Vehicle

7 replaceable breathing apparatuses,
Air-tight window view,
Modular armpieces to attach weapons and extra artillery,
armoured plates around its surface,
Ballistic Polycarbonate glass,
7 jet-propelled turbines,
CO2 to O2 conversion bay,
Augmented Gyroscopic Stabilisers,
Tank treads,
Foglights,
Blacklight, Infrared and Ultraviolet vision seeking modules,
Cockpit Module – Located in chest or head, includes HUD, pilot seat, and manual/AI-assisted controls.
Mobile Suit Frame – Reinforced skeletal frame allowing humanoid movement and flexibility.
Armour Plating – Durable outer shell; Gold Titanium Alloy
Power Source-
Bipedal Legs with Actuators – For running, jumping, kneeling.
Vernier Thrusters – For manoeuvring in space or atmospheric flight.
Jump Jets / Boosters – Short bursts of flight or elevation.
Weapon Hardpoints – Modular mountings for various equipment.
Multi-Spectrum Sensors – Infrared, radar, night vision, etc.
Head Cameras / Optical Units – For vision, zoom, and targeting.
AI Targeting Assistance – Enhances pilot accuracy and reaction time.
Radar & ECM – For detection and jamming enemy signals.
Life Support – Oxygen supply, pressure regulation, and cooling.
Escape Pod / Core Block System – Emergency ejection of the pilot.
Combat AI / Co-Pilot AI – Assists or can take partial control.
Maintenance Ports & Data Interfaces – For repairs and diagnostics.

This Artifact can be used as a A small scale mech. It is roughly the same size as a A small scale mech but can be collapsed into Mobile Armour and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This A small scale mech has see extended system. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on land as well as under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.
  • Crew of One: You alone may stand in for an entire crew if the vehicle would normally be piloted by more than one.
  • Drive-By: You may drive or pilot your vehicle as a Free Action, without taking any penalty on other Actions.
  • Jump: If going off a ramp, your jumps bring you twice as far and twice as high. If not, you may Exert your Mind to jump a minimum of 5 feet vertical and 15 feet horizontal.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a motorcycle with tent side car. It is roughly the same size as a motorcycle with tent side car but can be collapsed into model car and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This motorcycle with tent side car has ________. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

Built-in a time of hate and fear, used to suppress new ideas. Info fed to it through sources of hate and fear, it has known nothing else to it through its life, and now in its old age, it reflects that hate and fear onto the world. One could say it is more like a scared old man than anything else.

This Artifact can be used as a Plymouth volar. It is roughly the same size as a Plymouth volar but can be collapsed into Car keys. and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Plymouth volar has Modernized Plymouth volar. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a Shadow Horse. It is roughly the same size as a Shadow Horse but can be collapsed into a necklace with a deep red gem in the centre and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Shadow Horse has Plate Armour, Saddle, Reins. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Flying Solo: Your vehicle cannot have any passengers.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a Ninja H2R Kawasaki. It is roughly the same size as a Ninja H2R Kawasaki but can be collapsed into A under layered Armored Parka and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Ninja H2R Kawasaki has Armored plating, airless wheels, Liscense plate switcher. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Afterburner: Your vehicle has a 25% faster top speed and you may Exert your Mind to accelerate to its top speed in a single Round.
  • Daredevil: Damage you and your passengers take from vehicle collisions is reduced by 2, and any Injuries suffered are limited to a maximum of Severity 4.
  • Drive-By: You may drive or pilot your vehicle as a Free Action, without taking any penalty on other Actions.
  • Jump: If going off a ramp, your jumps bring you twice as far and twice as high. If not, you may Exert your Mind to jump a minimum of 5 feet vertical and 15 feet horizontal.
  • Flying Solo: Your vehicle cannot have any passengers.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Nightmares of your precious vehicle ceasing to function. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

Stock Extraordinary Vehicle Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a blimp. It is roughly the same size as a blimp but can be collapsed into a phone-sized canvas cube and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This blimp has full science laboratory, bullet-proof envelope, and ample parachutes. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Crew of One: You alone may stand in for an entire crew if the vehicle would normally be piloted by more than one.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.