Chefs Journal Addendum Chapter 1:

In accordance of our deal, the person that invited me into this whole thing placed me in a time locked area and gave me as much potatoes, tofu, and radishes to keep chopping up, slowly building up my dexterity for cutting evenly and accurately while doing it extremely fast as well. I also used this as a way to exercise a little and increase my ability to manipulate my hands better and run better when escaping from ingredients or chasing after ingredients. Funny enough, the man didn't seem to realize or maybe he already has but being exposed to this time locked enviroment allowed me to start cultivating. I can now retain Spiritual qi from the air as use it to augment my body. I am currently at Qi Condensation realm and ill soon be entering foundation establishment. Hopefully, as time passes, ill be able to grow more and stronger.

Making Lo Mein

Chefs Journal Addendum Chapter 2:

This time, the deal was fufilled through a different method. Instead of previously giving me a isolated area to train in, The person showed me an example, gave me a journal that explained the concept, and left me to my own stuffs. I understood some of the logic but as my way was different, i used Qi instead and focused it into my blade. I started to see and feel the thin veil, the thin strings that held the fabric of space together. I slowly sliced it as if i was skinning a beast and I see a literal tear in space in front of me. My knife seemingly extending through it and slicing another area a bit further out. The inside of the hole seemingly like a fog, its hard to see, and i knew i shouldn't stay there long so i quickly hop through and out the other end. This seem's to eat up my qi by quite a bit though. Having to focus it in my eyes to see the thin veil then in my knife before cutting. Its in effecient but will make do for now. I will still need to continue my cultivation and refine to building foundation. I already started the process past Qi cultivation now.

Making Egg Fried Rice

INGREDIENTS:

• White rice, cooked and chilled (perferablly a day old.)
• Eggs, lightly beaten
• Scallions & garlic, finely chopped
• Light soy sauce
• Sesame oil
• Salt & white pepper
• Neutral cooking oil

DIRECTIONS:

1. Scramble the eggs
2. add in the garlic with more oil and fry for 30 seconds
3. Add in rice and fry
4. Stir fry the two together and add seasoning
5. Add in cooked protein and veges.
6. Plate carefully.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this, After this, I had for a while contemplated thoughts of quitting. Of exiling myself, ignoring the calls, the summons by the harbingers. My allies continue to push for me to continue, they say that I just haven't found my rhythm yet. Some say I can do better, others say I just need a little time to improve. Others... have just given up on me. 

I fear the lost path that will continue, the more contracts I join on, the more my insecurity is reinforced. At first, I could separate myself from it, keep it a stale mind. Keep it distant yet as more time passes, as more contracts are done... I'm proven more right. Where as others lose then push forward, or appreciate being carried, have their own niche to fill, or even are just good at doing what they can do... I fear that soon, I will just vanish. 

Not physically but mentally, emotionally... I already feel it now. My old past has been covering what it could yet it is resurfacing now. I struggle to feel emotions outside of Joy and stress, as they are all I've ever known. Perhaps they were once a façade but they are now all I know how to show. 

I'm sorry for those that I have troubled. There was much more I could've done in this contract and yet, I once again... just... sat behind. Worthless.

it has been a few days since the last contract. I've been sitting here trying to figure out what went wrong, how to do and be better, and yet there's a lack of substance. I can't seem to understand why I am the way I am. I struggle, toil, and somehow pull through at the end but... that's with many chances, with many attempts, with people constantly helping me and carrying me through. I've tried to look at how my gifts interact, tried to amend them, tried to get creative, perhaps I can come up with a new dish? abandon some of the ones I have now? 

My greatest asset is making friends, yet keeping those friends are... a very troubling thought. I have proven myself to continuously be a burden on those who help me... My food is good and yet they have done NOTHING for me. Maybe I should've abandoned this pathway long ago...