Clown Crew

2
This Artifact grants you the power to summon a minion which can fight and act on your behalf.
Used by Philip Montegue (AKA Bumble the Clown), Created by EthanJ.
(When activating this Effect, it is obvious that you are creating a minion in some way. You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The user drives this tiny car in a circle two times while singing a children's song about clowns (see extended description). When the user exits the car, a small humanoid dressed as an exaggerated parody of the user follows, and mimics their personality and mannerisms.


Take a Severity-1 Injury and spend two Actions performing the following ritual: drive this artifact in a circle multiple times. You must maintain Concentration while activating this Effect, and it fails if you are interrupted.

Summon a single Tiny Clown at your location. They will last until they are destroyed. They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. This Artifact may have at most 1 minion active at a time.

  • Attacking: Minions can make ranged attacks at targets up to 30 feet away with 4 dice to attack.
  • Body: Minions have 4 Body.
  • Movement: Minions can move 20 feet per Round as Free Movement, and double that when performing an all-out Sprint. Your minions can fly at their normal movement speed.
  • Intelligence: They have dog-level intelligence, but are capable of communicating information back to you. They cannot actively use Equipment.
  • Actions: Minions cannot dodge or Defend. Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 8 dice.

After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.

You may only use this Effect once per day.

  • Exhaustion penalties and duration stack. If you activate this Effect or another Effect with Exhaustion, your penalty will worsen, and the duration is increased by one hour.

Community Activated Gifts

Exert your Mind and spend an Action. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you spawned minion attacks guitar.

Summon a single Groupie at your location. They will last until they are destroyed. They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. You may have at most 1 minion active at a time.

Minions have 6 Body and can make melee range attacks with 4 dice to attack. Your minions can move 20 feet per Round as Free Movement, and double that when performing an all-out Sprint. They cannot dodge or Defend. They have dog-level intelligence, and cannot communicate back to you. Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 3 dice.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, one fails to retrieve the food in time and it is either underdeveloped or spoiled.)

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

On Madness:
One gets uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if one is running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. Delphyrion feels this way towards content farms like 1-minute arts.

Expend a point of Battery and spend 1 minute. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous.

Choose an Object which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.

Roll Intellect + Crafts to fabricate your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: No Outside Food - upon sight or mention of food that you did not create, roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • The Difficulty for the fabrication roll increases based on specificity. Something like a "shirt" would be Difficulty 5, whereas "Police uniform" would be Difficulty 9. The Outcome determines overall quality and how well the item fits the request.
  • You can fabricate a container of something so long as it contains a single type of thing (such as a tank of water) or it is designed to be packaged together (such as a first aid kit).

Exert your Mind and spend an Action.

Your Stress from Injuries and Mind Damage is reduced to 0. Lasts three hours.

If you are Stunned, asleep, drugged, or otherwise made unconscious for any reason other than being Incapacitated, you may Exert your Mind to wake up. Any penalty which was caused by this condition is removed.

Exert your Mind (unless Under the sky) and spend a Free Action to activate. You must actively and obviously use Necklace to activate this Effect.

You may levitate off the ground at two times your normal walking speed. The effect lasts for the next hour, though you may choose to end it at will.

  • Any penalties to dice or movement, including from Encumbrance, are applied as normal. If your movement is reduced to 0 due to encumbrance, you will begin to sink down to the ground.
  • You may activate this Effect while in midair, allowing you to slow and survive any free fall.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action. This Effect cannot be used unless This power can only to flee from danger.

Lasts 1 minute. Whenever you use your Movement, after all other calculations, the distance you may travel is tripled.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Compulsion to be Heroic (helping the innocent and friends even to your detriment). If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Any Encumbrance penalty to your movement still applies, but you do not suffer from any sort of exhaustion.
  • Damage from a collision depends on your speed at the time, as well as what you hit. GM's discretion, but generally moving faster than a car on the freeway and hitting a dense, solid object like a wall or a tree should be lethal. Mundane armor will not apply, but any supernatural forms of protection will.

Stock Activated Gifts

Exert your Mind and spend 2 Actions. You must actively and obviously use a piece of clothing you wouldn't normally wear to activate this Effect.

You become disguised in a manner of your choosing. The disguise lasts for two hours, or you may end it early at will.

The new appearance may have a different sex, age, and race to your own, and you may alter height by up to a foot and your weight by 50%. Your disguise cannot directly mimic an existing person. You may change the appearance of your outfit. A disguise cannot affect your Attributes or other stats.

This Effect ends if you take an Injury or are stunned or incapacitated.

While disguised, you cannot use any Activated or Targeted Powers.

  • While you may alter your outfit's appearance, this does not grant or store equipment.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action. You must actively and obviously use a watch or clock to activate this Effect.

Lasts 1 minute. Whenever you use your Movement, after all other calculations, the distance you may travel is doubled.

Outside of Combat, any non-Gift, non-movement Actions you attempt take drastically less time to complete, as long as your personal speed is a factor in the Action. Total time reduction is determined by the GM and capped at 90% (executing the Action takes no less than 1/10th the normal time).

While using this Effect, you may carry one other being without affecting your Encumbrance, so long as you maintain contact with them for the duration and they consent or are grappled.

  • The time reduction on non-Movement Actions applies only to the parts of actions when your personal speed is a factor,: pouring water or smoking a steak are not affected, but constructing a shelter or picking a lock would be. The GM will determine how much the total time is reduced based on how relevant personal speed is to the task.
  • Any Encumbrance penalty to your movement still applies, but you do not suffer from any sort of exhaustion.
  • Damage from a collision depends on your speed at the time, as well as what you hit. GM's discretion, but generally moving faster than a car on the freeway and hitting a dense, solid object like a wall or a tree should be lethal. Mundane armor will not apply, but any supernatural forms of protection will.

This Effect activates whenever you are submerged in salt water. It does not require an Action or Exertion.

You transform into small for two hours or until you choose to end the Effect. See the Extended System text for stats.

While transformed, you cannot use any equipment (including Artifacts and Consumables), and you cannot use your Active, Direct, or Trap Powers. However, you can use your Passive Powers. Any equipment you are wearing transforms with you.

Injuries and Wound Level are carried over between forms. However, transforming can never kill you; you merely remain Incapacitated until your Injuries are sufficiently healed.

  • When triggered, the Effect activation resolves immediately after the triggering Action. It is not Reaction speed.
  • Creature Stats
    • Medium (large house cat up to human) Body 3. Brawn 1. Dexterity 3. Fall damage reduced by 1.
    All creatures get +3 dice to any non-combat Action that they are naturally adapted for. All creatures Medium and larger may attack by rolling Body, dealing +0 Damage (+1 for “predators”). Gms and Playgroup leaders can apply other bonuses and effects to specific animals.
  • Animals that are quicker than humans (like dogs) have 50 feet of Free Movement. Animals that are very slow (like turtles) have 0 feet of Free Movement.
  • You cannot transform if there is not enough room to do so.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action.

Summon a single roadie at your location. They will last for two hours, or until they are destroyed. They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. You may have at most 1 minion active at a time.

  • Attacking: Minions can make melee range attacks with 4 dice to attack.
  • Body: Minions have 6 Body.
  • Movement: Minions can move 20 feet per Round as Free Movement, and double that when performing an all-out Sprint.
  • Intelligence: Minions have dog-level intelligence, and cannot communicate back to you. They may use equipment.
  • Actions: Minions cannot dodge or Defend. Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 3 dice. Your minion is able to lift and haul equipment with a 7-dice pool.

You may only use this Effect once per day.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action.

You transform into a flowing pool of water for the next minute. You may end the effect early and return to your normal form at will. Your structure must remain relatively contiguous. Observers will view you as an unusual entity moving with a singular purpose.

While in this form, you can squeeze through any gap that is not water-tight.

Injuries from standard attacks are reduced to Severity 1, but Damage from AOE effects is increased by 1.

You cannot communicate or use equipment while transformed. Your equipment does not transform with you beyond basic body coverings. You cannot carry any items while transformed.

You have access to your Powers while transformed.

When you activate this Effect, roll a single D10. if the result is 5 or lower, you receive a Severity-1 Injury and a Minor Battle Scar.

  • The Severity-limiting effect from Squish does not stack with the Enhancement Tough from Mythic Brawn.