Reinforced siding with micron-scale thaumaturgic reinforcement on every surface, from the air hose to the muffler not a single part of this beauty is going to be anything less than perfect by the time Cleatus is done and he's not about to have his lovely lady Bessie in anything less than the most pristine shape so he's snagged some of those repair nanites from the foundation so even when it gets blasted it puts itself back together again before you can blink.
This Artifact has been upgraded.
This Artifact receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
The consumable appears to be two chemical vials. Pour them upon an object or pile of items, and watch as it shifts and molds. This normally takes months or years to research and produce, but who are you to complain? It's food.
After a minute you'll get your requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 1 minute (not that you can tell if it takes a bit longer than that). Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
On alchemy:
Here comes the alchemist chef. Does Delphyrion need to specify that this is a transformation from one object to another? Not really. Do they really like the law of conservation of mass and matter? Nope. Do they know they don't have to do all this stuff to limit themselves? Debatable. They'll just insist that this is for the science, the discovery, the suspense, the funny shenanigans.
On the vials:
They appear to be generic vials of clear liquid when unused, though that's questionable enough in and of itself if Delphyrion ever needs to get it past TSA (not that it's much of an issue anymore, considering the availability of their little stash). Hopefully Delph has labeled these correctly, lest they try to chuck this at someone instead of their signature piranha solution. What is the liquid called, anyway? ...Schrodinger's solution. It either exists or it doesn't. Or maybe it's somewhere in between...
On the backpack:
This consumable used to be a backpack. It was easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion had not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.
On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, use a 5-cent pencil, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry*.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 1 minute exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
*Food will vanish from your stomach after 2 hours.
Use up this pair of chemical vials and spend 1 minute. Roll 7 dice Difficulty 6, dice penalties do not apply.
Choose a specific type of Food, Drugs, and Administration which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You may create firearms.
Roll Intellect + Science to fabricate up to 5 copies of your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.
Lewis performs an eldritch ritual, sacrificing a portion of his flesh which turns pitch black and melts into the selected item, augmenting its power while causing those who see and hold the item to feel a sense of dread as if just being near this object will lead them into insanity.
The whispers of the staff of glorious evolution have become stronger, filling his mind with even more cursed knowledge as he starts to sacrifice his own body to augment things for the purpose of a true glorious evolution.
Increase your sacrificial Injury's Severity by 1 and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Can be used on Armor.
Lasts the next day. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed. Upgraded Armor is shredded by half the normal amount. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up , and any armor penalty it causes is reduced by 1. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.
Upgraded items have half their normal weight, for the purposes of encumbrance.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see part of the user’s flesh morph’s into the enhanced item causing it to gain fleshy black tendrils that pulsate like a beating heart.
After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.
If you do not have a sacrificial Injury when you activate this Effect, take a new Severity-1 Injury.
This piece of equipment is of the highest possible quality. Whatever it is, it's best-in-tier. It emanates gleaming white sparkle particles whenever you use it. This shit is so freaking sweet, dog.
This Artifact has been upgraded.
This Artifact receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
Virtuoso's Vessel: When using this Device for its primary purpose, you always roll a minimum of 8 dice. Excludes Effect activation rolls.
Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their body and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Battle Scar: Big Spender's Splendor - You emanate an aura of golden light. You have no idea how to turn this cosmetic effect off. Visual perception checks to spot you are made at -1 Difficulty, or at -3 difficulty in complete darkness. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Battle Scar heals over the course of the next day.
Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Covetous - Your <Artifact> is the greatest in the world. Nobody is going to take it from you. You refuse to loan out your Masterwork artifact(s) to anyone else. You must roll Self Control in order to let another person who knows of its existence remain in a position where they could easily steal it from you. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.
Kitty can use zir inverted soul to transfer some Antimana into an object, rendering it resistant to magical attacks, or extra powerful when used against magical beings
Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. This Effect cannot be used unless the bonuses are only granted against attacks by magical weapons, or magical entities. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you destroys the object. You must actively and obviously use prism to activate this Effect. Can be used on Armor.
Lasts the next day. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed. Upgraded Armor is shredded by half the normal amount. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.
You may upgrade any number of Objects within a 10 foot radius of your target.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
With his mythical ability he has been granted to pass on the power to items so that he may use them to help himself, slicing his hand open and rubbing his blood across the item turns the weapon both better and more in tune with his god, the gun smelling like rotten flesh, it bubble grows on the weapon and pops despite its metallic appearance, and the occasional drop of blood from it. The guns insides are now a meaty and strong improvement that have replaced its parts and will survive for a while like a parasite to the item but will soon die out and make the weapon worse then before.
Take a Severity-1 Injury and spend a minute to activate. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must actively and obviously use A necklace of the image Yog-sothoth to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
For the next day, your target receives 1 extra dice to all actions taken with its intended use.
You may choose a second valid Device target while activating this effect and splice both targets into a single new Device. The newly created item has the same size as the larger of the two initial targets, and can be used to perform the same actions as either of the original items. It receives 1 extra dice to those actions for the next day.
The aristocrat knows a ritual that allows them to rent the best version of any item. They set $10,000 worth of cash on fire and place the item to be upgraded in the fire as well. While in the flame, the item morphs into a high-end version of itself. After a while, it reverts.
Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up $10,000 cash (or equivalent) in order to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
The mad scientist produces thorium cores that can be used to upgrade tools and other devices. The core supercharges the item, increasing its quality and rendering it indestructible for a period. However, once the core runs dry, the object is rendered less useful than it was before. The core crackles with blue electricity while active.
Spend 1 Action and use up this glowing blue disk. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -2 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.