Xenos

(-Stray lines from where the paper tore on the previous page decorate the margins.-)

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry about the last page, I didn’t mean to tear the paper so much. I guess I was still freaked out and angry about that Contract.

I

We figured it out. We figured it out we figured it out we figured it out we figured it out we figured it out !!!!!!!!!!!

We didn’t understand at first, I just woke up and… I mean, my friend, she never sleeps unless she needs to rest after using her energy. We were so upset over my eye… when we woke up, I didn’t get it, but we could see like normal. Diary? We did it. We merged.

Not completely, just at the eye. My friend can’t move her eye from where mine would be, and it works just like my old one. Our eyes are both red, so it doesn’t look that different unless you shine a light in it (ow), but I can see all the way to my brains. They’re red and pink and white, maybe not brains, just my skin behind our eye, I don’t know. We checked ourselves out- the protective symbol from the creature is still there in white, scar tissue I guess. I kinda like it.

But… that mean the only way for us to stay together is for me to get hurt like that?

Getting that hurt sucks. And my friend doesn’t want me to be hurt.

Maybe it’s good. It could keep me from being so scared of getting hurt. I’m not going to start cutting my limbs off to make us merge faster, but… getting my limbs cut off might not be so bad.

I shouldn’t laugh about it, but I thought about giving my cut off limbs to Mister Benny. But, being serious, I want to keep my friends even though we figured out what we’ve been wanting to figure out. It’s not like I can just  go back to a normal life, and I don’t want to. I like going on Contracts, I like seeing what my friend and I can do, I like progressing.

We’re going to keep going on Contracts. It shouldn’t be hard to get hurt… but we’re not gonna let it be something stupid.

Dear Diary,

Mister Jules called me. He said he had things to do back in Egypt again, and wanted me to help because I know things about Shub-Niggurath and Ha. I’m just kinda waiting now, but he sent me a plane ticket (somehow?) and a card to call him, and I ended up getting a phone. I’ve never needed one before but I grabbed a unicorn charm for it too. It was too loud, though, so now it’s in my bag with my other stuff.

Mister Jules gave me a lot of money, and I don’t really know how money works so I have like 500 of it to this guy outside the ASDA place which I think is like Walmart to buy me a shovel, and it worked! I had on my jacket and everything and it was dark out, and he looked distracted already. I said thank you and he had I guess noticed the rest of the money I had and asked what I was gonna do with it, and I thought about it and said I’d give it to him if he went and bought a bunch of other stuff like Snickers and oh my gosh, unicorn stuffed animals and would help me move it all back to Surrey. Oh! And a satchel for Sally. That took awhile of convincing, but he helped me anyway, and I gave him the money and I haven’t seen him since then.

Digging is hard. But I don’t have anything else to do, and nobody comes all the way out here. The unicorns got kinda rained on but they’re all friends with Cherry now, and Cherry’s used to rain and water (remember the broken bridge?), so I think Cherry’s helping them get used to it.

Also, the dirt doesn’t bother me so much anymore. I remembered a song that calms me down. Everything that freaked me out about dirt felt like a big storm in my head, I hated it but thinking about storms reminded me of the song that’s supposed to make storms go away, and  it worked. I got the dirt out from under my nails.

(-There’s a drawing of a rain cloud with an x over it below the entry.-)

Update:

I’m almost done with the hole. It’s cold in there, but I got blankets. It’s comfy. And I don’t have to be as worried… I mean, like I said, no one comes here, I’m not worried. But having a sorta door made out of branches is nice. I’m moving all the unicorns in. There’s a really big one named Addison that’s the best for hugging, she’s got a pink horn and rainbow hoofs hooves and she’s super soft.

( On the back of the page: )

I feel  stronger. I’ve won 10 missions by now. My best friend says we’re doing good. I’m almost positive these are helping us, I feel closer to her every time we get learn how to do things. She says she feels the same.

After thos loss I had to find a way to bid my time. I have been having trouble getting what I need done. I jsut dont know what I need to do some times. I was clear but that does not always create what I want. This week. I want to spend more time getting items that I need. I really have a desire to make my life better. Living in a van is great but the cops always need to ask multiple questions that I really dont feel like answering or spending time in jail again.

So I need to find a way to make money that will get me out of debt and a way that I dont end up out of my mind. My goal here is to be wealthy enough that I dont need to think about the things that I need. I should get some sort of crew together. People that can help me get what I need. It will be a small crew that can help me get certain pieces of art that can be moved easily. I figure three comptent people would do it. I have to be careful who I hire and how I go about it.

I go through my contact and have found nothing so far. I will keep looking at figure a better place to live than the side of the street. My next big socre is around the corner. But I need to use the money to funnel my dreams and not some ones elses.