Failure To Reach Valhalla

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3 years, 1 month ago: Edgar Stokes wrote a Contract Journal for Scenario for Battle on the Bridge!

History Channel

I like films...even sit in front of the boob-tube from time to time. Never was into video games much: Mama Stokes didn't raise no basement dwelling nerds.

"If yinz ain't anything better to do, go chop wood."

I chopped a lot of wood back then.

Still, this one was like that: Like a video game, or a B-Movie. Lots of FX, but not a lot going on upstairs. Kind of a blur really, might've all been in my head.

So, I was, like, escorted to heaven by gay angels or someshit. Right there I knew something was off because: 1) Edgar don't swing that way, & 2) Edgar probably doesn't have an appointment with the pearly gates. So it's a dream, right? Seemed so, with some jawing about Vikings or English or what the fuck ever. Then we zoooommed down to the real (?) world...& appointed leaders of a village or something. Well, I think it was a old timey village. Sometimes it was a town, somtimes it had like, a big army or something. Anyway, things kind of blurred around then, & I guess a few weeks went by? Then a Viking (Without a Horned Hat, which is just a travesty) pops into my tent & says, in perfect American because you know: Video Games..."By the way, the Duke or Baron or something kinda has us surrounded & outnumbered."

Well. That escalated pretty quick.

So, I gather the troops (was there someone else? I don't even know anymore), & we go out to see a big army & some asshole in gold & carrying a fancy sword. He's all, "I challenge you to Trial by Combat!"

Oh. Okay. I feel my twisted muzzle stretch into a smile.

One Trial by Combat, coming right up!

Besides, what do I know about leading an army? Much better to tear apart some mouthy asshole. Which I did, mind you, in less time than it took to talk about it. Kept his fancy sword too...then we fought, won, got on a ship, fought, won, fought some more, won...did someone put this game on Easy Mode? Did I mention there was a Bear?

Anyway, I woke up on my couch. Still have the Ducal Sword though, so that's pretty neat. Think I'll hang it from a wire over my toilet.

Failure To Reach Valhalla was created by Tranks_300 3 years, 2 months ago

Playgroup Leader

Playgroup Member

Europe 10th Century

Full Setting Description

Have you dreamt of battling in the age of the Vikings? Yes? Well then ready your axes, psycadelic drugs and bear skins. Also Disease is rampant so be ready. Charge with England, Normandy or Denmark, fight on the field of Hastings, or invade Ca'el, hell even pillage Paris.